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i have loved bjork since the first time i heard 'venus as a boy'. i was very late to the game, having had a different musical upbringing (more classics, motown, and very old reggae), but am now a hardcore fan. she's so emblematic of what i believe to be the female experience, experimenting unabashedly with her image and style--both musically and otherwise. 

i am in an introspective mood again today and have found myself very burdened lately. i would like to be more bjork-like. i think both my life and my inner self could use a bit (LOT) of change. so....i'm forcing myself to be my own harbinger of promise. yes, yes. more self-motivational chatter on this blog. sometimes i feel it's necessary to give oneself a self-injected boost. work has been wearing me thin and in slumps like this, i find it easy to sink into a state of complete moroseness. i'd rather not. forward motion is very important to my current lifestyle; i'm trying to ensure that i do not allow hesitation and indecision to derail my plans for myself. ever had to remind yourself of why you are doing something? i hope so. otherwise, this is a bit crazy and my inane ramblings are those of a loon.

this was soothing today when i needed a little encouragement. the colors are so light.

from

i'm back.

vest: rogan

jacket: pretty face

sweater: acne

shirt: j. crew

skirt: april, may

shoes: frye

it's officially brick out

coat: acne
shirt: little brother's (noticing a trend here...)
cardigan: h&m
leather leggings: helmut lang
shoes: boemos
temperatures, they are a fallin'. trying to keep my head together after several hours of studying. thinking of making it a routine. it was rather satisfying; now if only it would pay off...
dreaming of vacation. doesn't even have to be warm. i believe i've always been fully a slave to wanderlust; i've just never had the means or the independence to indulge it. now that i do....oh, my mind is wandering indeed. any suggestions? trying to keep it fairly local as i have school daily (at 9 frickin' a.m.), but next year...i will be going SOMEPLACE foreign, dammit. i know i also get moody around the holidays (imagine an entire winter of doldrums and depression and you'll be about where i usually am) but am hoping to make a difference this year. i'm doing what i've always wanted to; i'm healthy and happy and (mostly) normal. what's not to be happy about, yes?

will also be tinkering with the layout here. expect a couple of bugs...

cheeky

i like the textures here:

this was apparently my schoolgirl outfit. i love these tights. they're diamond-ish textured with diamonds in diamonds in diamonds. or something like that. i didn't have the camera on hand to take some detail shots. womp.
this is actually a dress that i've never really worn because the belt is missing and it looks a bit bare. the shoes here looked much better on camera/in the mirror than they felt during the day. they seemed to dwarf the rest of my body and make my feet look a bit clownish. at least that's the perspective from the top down. perhaps i should have gone for a lower profile shoe. but...they're so shiny and happy. ah well. going to have a few beers and meet my new scrabble date. i simply MUST find some real humans to interact with. anyone down to hang out with me? i'm suuuper fuuuuuuun. missdtm, i'm looking at you.

no? pfft.

blazer: firma
sweater: acne
dress: allen schwarz
shoes: neil barrett

bit of photographic inspiration to wrap up a ROUGH week.

 

 

 

 all from rackkandruin

via

FYI, i've not tumblr'd in like...months or something. somehow i feel this is a redeeming fact.

simple goodness

sometimes less is not more. sometimes it's just better.




had a long talk with the photographer yesterday about the importance of talking. i hate talking. i'm not sure if that comes across here. i'm not a good talker. my ears turn red when answering questions in lecture. i get all hot when cops pull me over. used to be able to lie myself out of punishment as a kid. as an adult...i'm not sure what's happened. either way, there was much talking. it turned out to be a good thing. sort of a hard reset. i'm trying to work on eliminating self-deprecation from my life. 'i'm so (insert unflattering comment here)'. i never really thought i believed it, but it's something about reinforcing the little things in one's own psyche. eventually, they start to feel true. so...i'm going to try to go a full day without complaining. try it. it's not easy. i may not make it to lunch, but i'll see.
this is my apartment hunting outfit. swapped out a short sleeved tee for this longer one. still debating the wisdom of that choice. supposed to be hella hot today.  summertime in november. i'm down.

trench: zara
shirt: james perse
pants: les chiffoniers suede leggings
shoes: henry beguelin

i still don't have a halloween costume. maybe i'll be cousin it...

stagnant

pardon the standstill. i have been...coping. and allowing myself a few freedoms i probably should not have.

yeah....

just made this scarf over the summer. it's obnoxiously orange. like cheetos. i love cheetos.



and this is my favorite thing about winter. well, one of, anyway.  this sweater is absolutely lovely. all it needs is a hood. got it just before the 'sweater coat' craze hit the magazines. love and adulation ensued.

so i'm back at monday. going to try to get some rest; just got off work and freaking out about homework assignments and the lack of sleep that i need to anticipate.  time to start holing myself up in the basement. seems i need to rid myself of ALL distractions.
in other news, i'm trying to find a new place. decisions are not my strong suit. nor is patience. if i see something and i like it, i get it. done and done. my...consort...is a different breed entirely. slow and steady wins the race, eh?
we'll see.
last week's spooky weather. 
 

shades of fall

i'm a bonafide leafwatcher now. drove a lot of miles north to see the changing foliage. wonderful color, though the trees down here are nowhere near the peak color points. i discovered today that the idea of naked trees, icicles, and bleak wintry days makes me sad indeed. i think i don't like winter. it is possible i am apprehensive about this upcoming cold season because the last two i had were plagued with bad luck and illness. here's to a new year with uneventful holidays. :)

these are my new leather leggings. i finally got 2 pairs at a reasonable price. i do not regret my choice at all though i foresee a very long period of babying. they're beautiful and incredibly soft. like a wonderful pair of shoes...enveloping your lower body.

school this week will be hectic what with critical assignments due and another exam on thursday. i've been feeling very disheartened of late; not sure if it comes across here and i hope it doesn't.  i think my motivation is flagging, out of fear of failure, or perhaps a lack of conviction in my own ability.  i have been told for so many years that i am my own worst enemy, but how does one battle that exactly?  i mean chanting to oneself and repeating affirmations can take you only so far, right?  what about that extra bit to carry you through? where does that come from? some insurgence of influence, perchance?  is it even possible to conquer that ever-present, niggling bit of doubt?

k, that's a bit heavy for a monday morning, eh?

jacket: vintage from wartime resell blog <---- awesome
sweater: acne
leggings: helmut lang
shoes: mmm
scarf: self made

how was everyone's weekend? great i hope? the weather was lovely here, if a bit nippy. looking forward to more of it. should make getting dressed a bit more challenging as the temperatures fall.  in something like this:

chronicles of never future primitive overcoat, fw 2010

awesome.

via

trojans

are on my pc. i think. wtf. gonna have the in-house computer geek look it over.
in the meantime, he took these this morning. not very inspiring in photos, but i quite liked this look in person. have been bloody exhausted and out if it these last few days. this whole readjusting to academia and the pace of work with which i'm COMPLETELY unfamiliar is sort of....harrying.
and there's always more tomorrow.
i love a good challenge. but only once i've conquered it. it feels as though i'm being slowly worn down; seems quite the unfair fight. i've always been a bit of a perfectionist and have always been successful in school and that's often how i've characterized myself: by my success in school. read: bigass nerd, with glasses and backpack, to boot. as such, when 'real life' attacked me, it sort of changed my whole view of myself....for the worse. now that i'm back in school, i think i'm, once again, readjusting. and it's again shifting my view of myself. guess how. :)
back to the clothes:


oh yeah...those pants? totally suede. bought in the midst of that mad spending spree i went through just prior to quitting my job. 'twas the depression that damned me. but the swag is pretty cool in hindsight. ah, income.


came home and changed after my first class. and unloaded the bag. it was a little overwhelming.
swapped the leather for jeans and my sneakers for my new boots. this high school girl giggled when i walked by and pointed at my feet. and i ACTUALLY let it get to me. for, like, the whole walk to school. and felt completely stupid about wearing furry boots in the warmth of fall. then i realized...i'm grown. and my boots are awesome. see:


so screw that young broad.
ok, so i think if i get myself back to being super student, i'll be WAY more confident in my more heinous fashion choices, lol.

jacket: firma
sweater: three dots
shirt: random white tee
suede pants: vintage celine
shoes: schmoove

jeans: earnest sewn
boots: no.6 shearlings

dually

jacket: zara
shirt: rick owens drkshdw
skirt: april, may
shoes: boemos