quean

all about town

2011-04-15T18:07:00.001-04:00

all about town by Achillean featuring suede shoes

friday morning

2011-04-15T00:43:00.001-04:00

friday morning by Achillean featuring suede tote bags

the imagining

2011-04-10T16:12:00.001-04:00

the imagining by Achillean featuring a puffer vest

some options

2011-03-21T16:39:00.001-04:00

some options by Achillean featuring an embroidered dress

tried to find gold-ish dresses. i think you can play with colors if you make your accessories match.and yes. this has been procrastination at its finest. :)

i can't decide

2011-03-15T01:12:00.001-04:00

i can't decide by Achillean featuring a wool cardigan

i can't decide

2011-03-15T01:11:00.001-04:00

i can't decide by Achillean featuring slimming tops

pant dream

2011-03-14T22:59:00.001-04:00

pant dream by Achillean featuring twill pants

re-fresh

2011-01-11T20:08:00.000-05:00

time for a change, yeah?

please visit me at afflatus

looking forward to reading you all. :)

1511

2011-01-06T00:00:00.003-05:00

so i couldn't find a decent shot of my birthday outfit. well, except this one:

which would look like this if i were ballin'.

a pox on you, student budget. and dark restaurant.

at least my hair looked nice:

but that shit was blurry too.

anyhoo, i learned that drenching my hair in molasses with a dash of honey and a deep conditioner definitely helps make my curls 'pop'. so long as i DON'T COMB IT. haven't combed it since. curls look AWESOME. tangles...another story. gonna have to re-negotiate this situation. >:-(

AFFLATUS

this.

2011-01-05T09:32:00.001-05:00

via

this, to me, is great style. it is not a haphazard toss together of items but a grouping carefully selected from a well-curated collection. the fit and texture and drape of every item is perfect, and yet she wears it with such a carefree ease. another iteration of the wearer owning the clothes, not the clothes wearing the owner.
man, who else wants a fur skirt?

*raises hand*

yeah...second post in like 12 hours...inSOMnia, folks.

1411

2011-01-04T21:55:00.003-05:00

coolest part of this video is not here. i was wearing my elbow leather gloves and decided to pile on some volume with my wool fingerless mittens. pretty awesome, but a bit much for the look, i thought. so went with this simpler effect.
i'm not sure how comfortable i look in heels...but i love these. STILL learning how to walk in them. i like to think of myself as bambi, learning to use his legs:

and not like this:

although, being a klutz does have its good points sometimes:

via

blazer: firma
shirt: rick owens
pants: 120% lino
boots: yin
mittens: miss sixty, over leather gloves: marshall's

1.1.11

2011-01-04T01:29:00.000-05:00

sweater: pendleton
shirt: 0039
suede leggings: les chiffoniers
gold boots: sacco

i am 24 and 3 days old.

If you want to be happy, be.

-Leo Tolstoy

happy belated new year, everyone. thanks for reading.

inspiration and the modular wardrobe

2010-12-29T02:32:00.002-05:00

think of manhattan.
the film, not the city.

yes, yes, we all love annie hall and her androgyny and her eschewing overt femininity and her just-so way of wearing ill-shaped, but impeccably-fitting trousers and ties and vests and whatnot. but...that trend is on its last legs. let's find a NEW ~~androgynous~~ character to obsess over!

via

i watched the movie last evening and this is one of the two that stuck with me. here, she walks through the museum with allen with a straight leg pant and blazer. not shown are the pumps that peeked out of the hem of the trousers which just barely skimmed the base of the heel. i'm not sure why, but this image and that of anne byrne hoffman (who played yale's wife; yale being the best friend of allen's character, carrying on an affair with keaton) wearing a silk (?) blouse--seemingly braless--tucked into a long, almost fluid skirt. such effortless but coordinated ease is what i aim for.
nothing can take the place of a pair of well-cut trousers. indeed, you can dress it up or down for nearly any occasion. i have 3 pairs of these at the moment in 3 different colors, but rarely wear them as i feel such items are best left for formal or semi-formal occasions. being a student, these are few and far between. they are, all 3, understated and simple, but paired well, i have been able to work them into various outfits. with the foundation of a good pair of trousers and a versatile blazer, i just need to build my collection of tops. i feel i will be well on my way to my dream of a wardrobe based on simplicity, form and function.


the modular wardrobe; all parts are interchangeable. there are 2 pairs of patent shoes because sometimes you don't want to be all sexy, but still chic, although it has been noted that kitten heels cause greater back problems in the long run than stilettos...oh well. it feels better, dammit.

things i have learned this year:

i have very little use for items that are 'girly'. this means no frills, bows, pink or lace. ever. period.
i like deep colors and earth tones. blues, greens, greys and browns, with the occasional pop of red.
i prefer crew necks to boatnecks v-necks to turtlenecks. though i have a fairly long neck, turtlenecks are not flattering. perhaps i'm buying the wrong ones. i have a jutting collarbone that is best flattered by simple jewelry or full coverage. decolletage...i'm working on it.
for every single shoe i have owned, if it's too high, uncomfortable or unflattering, i won't wear it.
there IS a boot for every occasion.
a good wool cardigan can take you from day to night, casual to formal, summer to winter with the greatest of ease
a true 'investment' piece will never give you buyer's remorse. wait it out. sleep on it. even if it takes months. i'm all for instant gratification, but have found that the patient path is also deeply satisfying.
i really, really, REALLY, like leather. jackets, pants, skirts, shorts. you name it, i want it, lol. and can usually incorporate it seamlessly.
one good bag, one clutch, a pair of studs, a watch, a string of pearls are all i need to accessorize. i lose the rest or they end up discarded or forgotten at the bottom of my closet or jewelry box. so-called statement pieces are rare (and distracting) for me.
my hair is a permanent accessory; if my hair does not 'go' with the outfit, i find myself frustrated and at a loss. i often have to build my outfit around the shape and style of my hair (silly? is it just me?) and as such, i spend a fair amount of time trying to maintain it. lately, i've been favoring double buns at my nape. sexy? no. chic? no. me? all the way.
i don't like to be on trend. i seriously avoided wearing blazers because everyone and their mother had one. whenever the next best thing comes out, i will likely revert to them because i feel they are a great modular element in any wardrobe.
i favor comfort far more than i favor what's supposed to be in style.

good things to know when shopping, eh? i think this list, though mental on my part, has been useful more recently. i shop based on need. though nowhere near deadfleurette status, i am less of a recessionista (oy...really?) and more of...well, just me. my needs and staples are not dictated by vogue, blogs, or erin wasson. just me.

cocoon

2010-12-27T16:11:00.000-05:00

happy holidays, all.

bit of detail...

so...was santa good to you all? i'm waiting on my real christmas presents: my final grades for the semester. apparently my professors saw fit to enjoy the holiday before submitting our evaluations, despite there being a deadline of the 23rd...awesome. so now, i'm having trouble sleeping. no seriously, nightmares about failing all my classes and having to repeat them.

in the meantime, the boy got me some of the disney movies since i haven't seen most of them. it was a sweet, thoughtful gift, but i REALLY wanted to have those no.6 boots (i'm actually now considering 2 pairs 0_0). with all the expenses that came up this semester, i wasn't able to save as much as i wanted to (ahem, none). but will see how the saving goes for the new year. been working my butt off since school let out. hoping to keep racking up hours until i have to go back. aaaaaanyhoo, what are you all planning for new years? anyone in new york want to invite me out...?

coat: acne
shirt: alexander wang
jeans: buffalo
boots: frye
scarf: eddie bauer
gloves: portolano

new fascination

2010-12-20T14:16:00.001-05:00

i have always been partial to stripes. i'm broad-shouldered for a girl so i have also always heard that horizontal stripes are not suited for folks of my...er...latitude. they are better suited for frail, willowy frames.
given the versatility, however, i am disregarding all that rot in the hunt for a perfect collection of simple, versatile tops.

Slash Neck Sailor Tee by Joseph, 85 GBP
Square Wrap Coat, 615 GBP
Shipley & Halmos Perrier Bomber Jacket, $229
Red Lord Velvet Jacket by Joseph, 415 GBP
3.1 Phillip Lim Drawstring leather shorts, $675
GUCCI AW10 BLACK WOOL PANTALONE, 449 GBP
Jacquard Dogstooth Pencil Skirt, 85 GBP

on the last leg, now, boys.
cheers to coming out the other side alive.

on style

2010-12-19T03:03:00.000-05:00

i quite like this. simple and easy but classy, elegant.

via

snug. heh.

121410 from pennerad on Vimeo.

sweater: shoptoast

shirt: adrienne vittadini

pants: zara

boots: no.6

fancy a tumble?

2010-12-14T13:42:00.000-05:00

delicious convertible booties from matt bernson. it's about 17 degrees here today with high winds. i'd gladly wrap myself up in a pair of these.

reading day at home.
yeah, i went outside to meet a friend wearing this and my huge parka. nary a breeze to be felt.

hope you all are having a good week!

mixed/media

2010-12-12T19:08:00.000-05:00

12710 from pennerad on Vimeo.

12710

new boots. i dubbed them my 'go-go boots'. the day promptly turned into a bizarre adventure. i feel these two points are not entirely unrelated.
sweater: 3 dots
jeans: j brand
boots: sacco
i have been on the hunt for an ideal coat for quite some time. the stand collar, material, length and cut are all perfect for me.

yohji yamamoto coat
proenza schouler turtleneck
j brand 912
dieppa restrepo lace up
jerome dreyfuss billy bag
odeon scarf

if only i had the coat and bag...this would be perfect!

hope your weekends are relaxed and cozy. i need to study...

update

2010-12-09T12:48:00.000-05:00

as promised, an update:


sweater: free people long sleeve: inhabit leggings: les chiffoniers boots: frye but wait, there's more: 12810 from pennerad on Vimeo. yeah...not big on editing and all that cool, snazzy stuff. sorryyyy. anyhoo, i'm off to ~~go wail myself into a corner~~ do laundry because i'm having a horrific day. hope you guys fared better on this GORGEOUS but freezing thursday. talk soon.

compromise

2010-12-06T22:28:00.000-05:00

sweater: japanese brand, men's
jeans: j brand
boots: frye vintage harness

soooo...for now, this is probably how the outfit posts are going to go. i think it's a nice compromise until i figure out how to do the scheduling for photos. now that i've moved, it's a little bit harder to coordinate morning photos. the apartment is coming together nicely. may be nice as i get to keep my mug off this blog that much more.
before we even moved in i had already decided how it would all be arranged. now i'm just looking for affordable shelves so that i can line the walls like so:

via

these floating shelves are pretty pricey at around $40 a pop. if i'm using more than 10 of them, i can see it getting rather pricey. i think i'm gonna head to the lumberyard nearby. may be easier to find some stuff that's better suited to the space there.

aaaanyhow, hope you're all enjoying the winter wonderland. apparently, everywhere has seen snow now (except maybe the south). we had flurries today. wtf? and christmas is right round the corner. it crept up on me. i'm broke and stressed out and looking forward to maybe a week of peace because i'll likely be taking courses in the winter.

will continue to update as best i can in the meantime. thanks for reading, all. :)

humidity is a mofo

2010-12-01T21:58:00.000-05:00

certainly not glamorous but it is definitely a comfortable alternative for the craptastic weather. my umbrella flipped 2x and i nearly lost my glasses it was so windy. but check out my new shiz (OMG WATCH).
anyhoo, got lucky and bought these yohji yamamoto boots from wartime recess. i adore them. and her for giving me a crack at them. thanks again!
going back to the discussion of fitting into your clothes. i think that i could certainly make a uniform out of this look. i love the sweater/collar combination. just need to find 2 or 3 alternatives for those days when this may get boring.

sorry for the (exceptionally) poor quality. i know my images are never very sharp or photographically genius, but i have no photographer and nowhere to take pictures what with the dozens of boxes and things strewn all over. still trying to find a place for it all.

i thought these were pretty funny. i wish i had a before picture. my hair was smooth and stretched this morning when i left the house. then i forgot my hat and the umbrella went to heck in a handbasket and this was the result:

this was the only alternative:

not sure if you can see it, but you may be able to see the tight curls at the base of the puff. now compare that with the situation sticking out at the top. this is the stuff i have to deal with everyday, man. my hair is schizophrenic. and the humidity is NOT HELPING.

i may be a little off again until the christmas holiday really rolls around. finals are fantastically important at this point so i'm going to try to spend as much time as i possibly can working on getting my shit together and giving it the 'old college try'. yeah. someone really said that. i know it was good advice but...really? college try? that's like a nice way of saying 'stop failing, loser; get your shit together!'.

k. will keep posting if you keep reading. helloooooo december...

case in point

2010-12-01T08:29:00.000-05:00

this particular look would probably appear as 'costumey' on me. nevertheless, i love how the shirt fits her and the shorts are perfectly nipped in at the waist and those socks look fantastically soft.

via

how i feel today:

via tumblr

struggling to keep up with my own life's pace. dealing with a bunch of conflicting schedules and demands on my time, attention, and energy. no rest til xmas. how are you all doing this fine week?

got my internet back

2010-11-29T23:43:00.001-05:00

via

i often feel that with all this accessibility to fashion current events and style blogs and forums and the millions of trendy magazines and on and on and on, we are often overwhelmed by what we 'should' be wearing than what we already own. even with this new minimalism movement, we are bombarded by images of THE perfect sweater, THE perfect black pant, THE shoe to end the fickleheartedness of all shoe whores.

i am always more awed by those who are able to blend their ieals and personalities with their outer coverings. to me, it signals a consistency, a fluidity that allows clothing to transcend just a variety of coverings. rather, it is an extension of oneself, one's being. one is oneself through and through, from book choices.

i suppose, in my case, i find that sort of consistency to be a sign of maturity. to be completely possessed of your own confidence, value, and worth in the world, without any significant wavering from one's intended path is a groundedness that i always admire in both women and men. i think that at my 'tender age', it can be quite difficult to be so completely solid in all of one's convictions. while i like being fluid and believe very strongly in the importance of change, i think that picking a side can be equally empowering. i also believe that one's wardrobe can be an additional medium that encapsulates one's convictions, be it in quality or quantity, depending on individual priority.

the women above epitomize the sort of style i enjoy. while very different aesthetically, there is a strong menswear element that i think i will always hold dear. i prefer even lines and definitive symmetry to the shapelessness of fluff and frill. the woman on top, lena, looks completely at ease in her clothing. she is not contrived, the clothing is not overly LOUD; it does not dwarf her or her personality. rather, it is she who is wearing the clothes and not vice versa. i have seen many women who are the exact opposite. that seasonal fur vest/jacket/hood thing and THOSE wedges/boots/sandals of the season are eventually relegated to the back of one's closet and one's mind. to me, lena's outfit is defined by form and function. the model's outfit is equally functional, albeit more theatrical. i would personally wear a more casual version for daily outfits, but were i in a more professional sort of field, i would don the full look.

as another example,

via

i would wear this as well. at 5'7", this jumpsuit/romper business would look more like a short pantsuit on me. while i love the cut and fit, it probably would not fit me the same. i know because i have a similar piece and in pictures i've unearthed from earlier days on the blog, i look...not so hot. the jumpsuit dominates the look because it doesn't quite suit me. while it may be the perfect slumming look, it would shorten my leg-line, and draw unwanted attention to the width of my hips and the disproportion of my torso.

as i've said before, i'm still working on what suits my frame, irrespective of editorial, blog, or fashion week influence. but i do like these for myself:

via

do you OWN your wardrobe? do you find yourself being controlled by what you own, picking outfits solely on what you already own and what matches, instead of taking pleasure in selecting treasured, well-considered items? i don't like that feeling anymore but find it's taking a lot to overcome various attachments to older garments.

what of you all?

all the same

2010-11-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

jacket: hilary radley
sweater: the boy's castoff
shorts: dkny
tights: target
shoes: boemos

so this is the first photos of the new digs. sorry the photos are pretty much identical; i was trying to show the jacket's detail, but i'm not sure if it'll come across. anyhow, the jacket and my shorts are the same color and fabric. awesomesauce. :) let's hope the warmth holds out til after the sun goes down as i have to be outside late and didn't really plan for that. oops. but, again, this was geared toward comfort. commentary/critique is appreciated always!
i'm still unpacking, and think i may leave the books in the pile on the floor as a 'display area' since it'll make me look well-read and smart and whatnot. will take additional photos of the apartment when i figure out what to do with all my clothes. we went from three closets to one large one and clearly the whole was greater than the sum of its parts. it seems that our closets were much larger than we had thought...soooooo, shelving will be necessary!
going to research apartment therapy; i'm thinking i may find some unique storage ideas there. what are your plans for the holiday? i will be WORKING. woot!

i hope you are having a great week, all. here's a little something to keep your sartorial engines pumping:

via

i think that, while not exactly traditionally chic, this is a great outfit. the coat is such a good shape and her jeans fit just so and those boots look like they are of impeccable quality. just look how the leather creases. mmm...

reflection: dress for the occasion

2010-11-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

jacket: zara
sweater: ralph lauren
shirt: dkny
pants: rick owens
shoes: maison martin margiela

the purpose of this blog was, perhaps, misinformed. i was younger, and (somewhat) less wise. i wanted to have a medium in which to express my thoughts, but also to show others how 'cool' i could be in front of the camera (<--less wise part). as time progressed, i found that being able to look back on what i wore on a day to day basis definitely helped me in identifying what looked best or was least flattering. this year has been the foray into specificity, trying to 'type' my style. of late, however, what with school, and well, life, crashing down upon me, i have found that i am less particular in trying to fix my outfits into a particular vein. rather, i tend to reach for those items that bring me feelings of (various forms of) comfort, and ease, and protection. on my toughest days, a simple tee and my leather leggings and a pair of oxfords have been the foundations of my looks.
this, above, was focused around comfort and warmth. none of it really 'goes' in my opinion, but these lovely shoes gave me a reason to smile all day. while merely material, i love them and all their detailing. this sweater is one of the warmest i own and i love the prepster feel of brown houndstooth (brownstooth???) and the simplicity of the zippered opening. the pants are incredibly soft and supple, even on the inside, against the skin. and the shirt underneath, a simple long sleeve, is the only one i have ever been able to find that fits the entire length of my arms and torso. the armpits have been stained from deodorant and i didn't want that to show, so i kept it covered with the cardigan. i'm considering tossing it since i don't think the stains will come out, but for this day, i wanted everything as simple as possible. i donned the blue jacket because the boy said of all my jackets, it was the most complementary to the overall look. after the photos, i also added my elbow length brown gloves and fluffy orange scarf for added protection from the wind. i probably looked a hot mess, but covered in all these things, i felt like a confident force to be reckoned with, at ease with my body and the items on it.
i know that's a LOT of verbiage for a single outfit, but isn't that why we all do this? we spend a peculiar amount of time looking over an item, at any price point, for what will make it uniquely a part of OUR individual wardrobes. a basic sweater/shirt/pant is only basic while it's on the hanger. on one's form, it becomes a part of you, imbued with your energy, energy that you give it. all the things i'm wearing held positive energy for me, and during tough times, i feel it's nice to have a little boost. some have jewelry, some just prefer to be bare in the face of difficulty; i like to feel protected. my cocoon of layers and brown gave me this. and i was content.
right now i'm wearing flannel sweats and a simpson's shirt that declares 'I'M IDAHO'. why? because i'm protein treating my hair and packing up all my belongings and this was the most comfortable, suitable attire for the job. my sister gave me the pants and a very dear, close friend gave me the shirt; she made it herself. while i pack, i have caught myself touching the flannel while thinking, and thinking of my sister. and it brings me a bit of peace, and a smile. stress-free, guys.

i hope you are all having a great weekend. if you commented in the past 2 weeks or so, i have been trying to be more responsive in the actual comment space, as opposed to your respective blogs or in my subsequent posts. i feel i may more directly answer your questions (if any) that way.

here's some additional inspiration i came across. i have always, always preferred a more masculine silhouette, so will be trying to incorporate more boyish cuts into my style. happy saturday :)

all from sz's outfit forum

reflectively, p

i don't iron, pt. 2

2010-11-17T23:27:00.000-05:00

midterms. late nights in library. moving. packing. packing. looking for apartments. packing.
need i say more.

blazer: firma
shirt: levi's
pants: religion
belt: linea pelle
shoes: repetto
bag: handmade

i hate this outfit. but it was good in theory. pret said she liked these pants. that's as much encouragement as i needed.

bright spot in the last week:

soooo yeah, not much to say besides...i hope there are still people reading this. :) and expect a few changes. been saying that for awhile, but i'm expecting some free time to emerge...soon. any big changes in you guys' lives? small ones are cool too!

gumby hair

2010-11-13T00:41:00.000-05:00

yep. definitely gumby hair.

this outfit was good for me. it wasn't much to look at in hindsight, but i got ready in about 15 minutes with a precious few items in only a few moments and wasn't worried about matching or not, or whether or not i would be comfortable. it felt good to just pull some things from my closet and wear them with ease. this didn't photograph well and my hair was all kinds of effed up, but it was like running errands in my pajamas. i didn't even want to change when i got home. that's saying A LOT. clearly, i need to find more items that give me that feeling. getting dressed would be so much EASIER. took it very, VERY easy today and tomorrow, LEASE SIGNING. i'm alternately super-stoked and horrified, at the prospect of new adventures and packing, respectively. anyway, i'm off to bed. it's been a long day of...laziness. productivity tomorrow. the most productive thing i did today was this:

and rinsing honey out of my hair. oh, and defending my sexuality. again. weird.
any big plans for the weekend? i feel like my life is slipping away; all i do is dream about textbooks and exams! ergo, i must live vicariously through you darlings who visit and read. hope all's well out there.

shirt: rick owens drkshdw
pants: les chiffoniers
shoes: costume national

here's some inspiration for the short days ahead:

src: vanessa jackman

bon weekend!

one hell of a week

2010-11-12T00:14:00.002-05:00

i love these two. i think i could wear the second silhouette comfortably for the rest of my days with slight variations on footwear and accessories. would definitely need multiples. a girl can dream. more realistically: i have come up with another item for my short term long term wishlist. yeah, it's hard to keep up. i have a ton of bags and have been experimenting with different shapes and sizes to find what best suits my frame and is most comfortable. i have the bag in mind (sort of a soft briefcase with double straps for over the shoulder wear, but not too long) but have been unable to find anything that suits my fancy. i have wanted a jerome dreyfuss billy (visible in the second look) for awhile however. the leather looks amazing and the bag could be used for daily wear with most of the items i already own. so, in addition to those over knee shearling boots, i'd like one of these please. now to find a perfect top.
having a bit of a crap week, so watching old 'the city' reruns and looking at style blogs. i feel like dressing up tomorrow.

bel menage

2010-11-11T00:38:00.001-05:00

from

i have loved bjork since the first time i heard 'venus as a boy'. i was very late to the game, having had a different musical upbringing (more classics, motown, and very old reggae), but am now a hardcore fan. she's so emblematic of what i believe to be the female experience, experimenting unabashedly with her image and style--both musically and otherwise.

i am in an introspective mood again today and have found myself very burdened lately. i would like to be more bjork-like. i think both my life and my inner self could use a bit (LOT) of change. so....i'm forcing myself to be my own harbinger of promise. yes, yes. more self-motivational chatter on this blog. sometimes i feel it's necessary to give oneself a self-injected boost. work has been wearing me thin and in slumps like this, i find it easy to sink into a state of complete moroseness. i'd rather not. forward motion is very important to my current lifestyle; i'm trying to ensure that i do not allow hesitation and indecision to derail my plans for myself. ever had to remind yourself of why you are doing something? i hope so. otherwise, this is a bit crazy and my inane ramblings are those of a loon.

this was soothing today when i needed a little encouragement. the colors are so light.

from

i'm back.

vest: rogan

jacket: pretty face

sweater: acne

shirt: j. crew

skirt: april, may

shoes: frye

piecemeal

2010-11-06T22:56:00.000-04:00

a little color to dampen the drear.

jacket: pretty face
shirt: van heusen
pants: celine
shoes: schmoove

in the midst of a major studying/cram session. anticipate blurbs with no real chatter. bit of quiet for a change, yes? how is the weekend treating you all?

it's officially brick out

2010-11-01T23:29:00.000-04:00

coat: acne
shirt: little brother's (noticing a trend here...)
cardigan: h&m
leather leggings: helmut lang
shoes: boemos
temperatures, they are a fallin'. trying to keep my head together after several hours of studying. thinking of making it a routine. it was rather satisfying; now if only it would pay off...
dreaming of vacation. doesn't even have to be warm. i believe i've always been fully a slave to wanderlust; i've just never had the means or the independence to indulge it. now that i do....oh, my mind is wandering indeed. any suggestions? trying to keep it fairly local as i have school daily (at 9 frickin' a.m.), but next year...i will be going SOMEPLACE foreign, dammit. i know i also get moody around the holidays (imagine an entire winter of doldrums and depression and you'll be about where i usually am) but am hoping to make a difference this year. i'm doing what i've always wanted to; i'm healthy and happy and (mostly) normal. what's not to be happy about, yes?

will also be tinkering with the layout here. expect a couple of bugs...

5head

2010-10-31T14:19:00.000-04:00

lol...it's so shiny.
these are my brother's trousers. i'm currently stuck in the midst of my cleaning process. have a lot of items i still am worried to part with. slacks and suits and skirts, all business, but i've no job and will not be needing these items for some time. should i toss them or keep them? these trousers are my brother's. i rarely wear trousers like this casually, so decided to take them for a spin with my new shoes, a fitted sweater, and my orange leather. i think it looked better in my head, but i definitely like it. i think for me, it's an easier style and fit than wearing my trousers more traditionally with pumps or a flat shoe and button down. i think an important part of style is incorporating it realistically into your own life and still looking comfortable in it, rather than forced or awkward. okay, my rant is random. the only detail shot:

these have changed my mind about minnetonkas. still need a pair of converse dangit.

jacket: pretty face
shirt: three dots
pants: little brother's
belt: linea pelle
shoes: minnetonka
bag: furla

watching happily ever after with charlotte gainsbourg. i think i quite like ms. gainsbourg. pretty awesome. watching her in a camel coat and a pair of wide leg trousers. totally gonna influence monday's outfit. on a french/ballet/foreign movie kick at the moment. i think i want out of this time zone.

maybe here?

cheeky

2010-10-29T21:25:00.001-04:00

i like the textures here:

this was apparently my schoolgirl outfit. i love these tights. they're diamond-ish textured with diamonds in diamonds in diamonds. or something like that. i didn't have the camera on hand to take some detail shots. womp.
this is actually a dress that i've never really worn because the belt is missing and it looks a bit bare. the shoes here looked much better on camera/in the mirror than they felt during the day. they seemed to dwarf the rest of my body and make my feet look a bit clownish. at least that's the perspective from the top down. perhaps i should have gone for a lower profile shoe. but...they're so shiny and happy. ah well. going to have a few beers and meet my new scrabble date. i simply MUST find some real humans to interact with. anyone down to hang out with me? i'm suuuper fuuuuuuun. missdtm, i'm looking at you.

no? pfft.

blazer: firma
sweater: acne
dress: allen schwarz
shoes: neil barrett

bit of photographic inspiration to wrap up a ROUGH week.

all from rackkandruin

via

FYI, i've not tumblr'd in like...months or something. somehow i feel this is a redeeming fact.

simple goodness

2010-10-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

sometimes less is not more. sometimes it's just better.

had a long talk with the photographer yesterday about the importance of talking. i hate talking. i'm not sure if that comes across here. i'm not a good talker. my ears turn red when answering questions in lecture. i get all hot when cops pull me over. used to be able to lie myself out of punishment as a kid. as an adult...i'm not sure what's happened. either way, there was much talking. it turned out to be a good thing. sort of a hard reset. i'm trying to work on eliminating self-deprecation from my life. 'i'm so (insert unflattering comment here)'. i never really thought i believed it, but it's something about reinforcing the little things in one's own psyche. eventually, they start to feel true. so...i'm going to try to go a full day without complaining. try it. it's not easy. i may not make it to lunch, but i'll see.
this is my apartment hunting outfit. swapped out a short sleeved tee for this longer one. still debating the wisdom of that choice. supposed to be hella hot today. summertime in november. i'm down.

trench: zara
shirt: james perse
pants: les chiffoniers suede leggings
shoes: henry beguelin

i still don't have a halloween costume. maybe i'll be cousin it...

stagnant

2010-10-25T01:04:00.000-04:00

pardon the standstill. i have been...coping. and allowing myself a few freedoms i probably should not have.

yeah....

just made this scarf over the summer. it's obnoxiously orange. like cheetos. i love cheetos.

and this is my favorite thing about winter. well, one of, anyway. this sweater is absolutely lovely. all it needs is a hood. got it just before the 'sweater coat' craze hit the magazines. love and adulation ensued.

so i'm back at monday. going to try to get some rest; just got off work and freaking out about homework assignments and the lack of sleep that i need to anticipate. time to start holing myself up in the basement. seems i need to rid myself of ALL distractions.
in other news, i'm trying to find a new place. decisions are not my strong suit. nor is patience. if i see something and i like it, i get it. done and done. my...consort...is a different breed entirely. slow and steady wins the race, eh?
we'll see.
last week's spooky weather.

shades of fall

2010-10-18T11:04:00.001-04:00

i'm a bonafide leafwatcher now. drove a lot of miles north to see the changing foliage. wonderful color, though the trees down here are nowhere near the peak color points. i discovered today that the idea of naked trees, icicles, and bleak wintry days makes me sad indeed. i think i don't like winter. it is possible i am apprehensive about this upcoming cold season because the last two i had were plagued with bad luck and illness. here's to a new year with uneventful holidays. :)

these are my new leather leggings. i finally got 2 pairs at a reasonable price. i do not regret my choice at all though i foresee a very long period of babying. they're beautiful and incredibly soft. like a wonderful pair of shoes...enveloping your lower body.

school this week will be hectic what with critical assignments due and another exam on thursday. i've been feeling very disheartened of late; not sure if it comes across here and i hope it doesn't. i think my motivation is flagging, out of fear of failure, or perhaps a lack of conviction in my own ability. i have been told for so many years that i am my own worst enemy, but how does one battle that exactly? i mean chanting to oneself and repeating affirmations can take you only so far, right? what about that extra bit to carry you through? where does that come from? some insurgence of influence, perchance? is it even possible to conquer that ever-present, niggling bit of doubt?

k, that's a bit heavy for a monday morning, eh?

jacket: vintage from wartime resell blog <---- awesome
sweater: acne
leggings: helmut lang
shoes: mmm
scarf: self made

how was everyone's weekend? great i hope? the weather was lovely here, if a bit nippy. looking forward to more of it. should make getting dressed a bit more challenging as the temperatures fall. in something like this:

chronicles of never future primitive overcoat, fw 2010

awesome.

via

lieutenant

2010-10-16T23:12:00.001-04:00

literally, 'place holder'. like this blog post. heh.

revised by Achillean featuring leather shorts

Stella McCartney Cashmere and wool-blend sweater
CHLOE Sweater,
Wayne / Mohair Sweater
Knitted Cable Boyfriend Jumper
Leather pants,
front zip leather legging$698,
Jenni Kayne Leather Pleat Short
Vanessa Bruno Athé Turned-up leather shorts
Jil Sander "JS14204" Black Jodhpur Boots at Shirise,
No6 Store - 5" String Leather Shearling - No Six Store - Clog Boots,
Slouchy Beanie,
Fall 2010 Micro Trend: The Irish Fisherman’s Sweater | 5thjoy
Aran Heavyweight Traditional Wool Sweater - Beige with Natural Fleck -...

i would like one (or two, at most) of these items or something ~~cheaper~~ similar. pick one! engage in idle, virtual window shopping with me.

pictures--and substance--tomorrow...or maybe monday when i catch a breather. this blog feels very one-dimensional at times. what say you all? any critiques? this is basically a sneaky way of trying to find something substantial to post about besides my mug in x,y,z shirt/jeans/shoes again. thoughts appreciated.
i think, when it gets really cold, there's little better than a really good sweater. yeah, i rhyme. what of it?

trojans

2010-10-13T22:12:00.000-04:00

are on my pc. i think. wtf. gonna have the in-house computer geek look it over.
in the meantime, he took these this morning. not very inspiring in photos, but i quite liked this look in person. have been bloody exhausted and out if it these last few days. this whole readjusting to academia and the pace of work with which i'm COMPLETELY unfamiliar is sort of....harrying.
and there's always more tomorrow.
i love a good challenge. but only once i've conquered it. it feels as though i'm being slowly worn down; seems quite the unfair fight. i've always been a bit of a perfectionist and have always been successful in school and that's often how i've characterized myself: by my success in school. read: bigass nerd, with glasses and backpack, to boot. as such, when 'real life' attacked me, it sort of changed my whole view of myself....for the worse. now that i'm back in school, i think i'm, once again, readjusting. and it's again shifting my view of myself. guess how. :)
back to the clothes:

oh yeah...those pants? totally suede. bought in the midst of that mad spending spree i went through just prior to quitting my job. 'twas the depression that damned me. but the swag is pretty cool in hindsight. ah, income.

came home and changed after my first class. and unloaded the bag. it was a little overwhelming.
swapped the leather for jeans and my sneakers for my new boots. this high school girl giggled when i walked by and pointed at my feet. and i ACTUALLY let it get to me. for, like, the whole walk to school. and felt completely stupid about wearing furry boots in the warmth of fall. then i realized...i'm grown. and my boots are awesome. see:

so screw that young broad.
ok, so i think if i get myself back to being super student, i'll be WAY more confident in my more heinous fashion choices, lol.

jacket: firma
sweater: three dots
shirt: random white tee
suede pants: vintage celine
shoes: schmoove

jeans: earnest sewn
boots: no.6 shearlings

dually

2010-10-12T20:36:00.000-04:00

jacket: zara
shirt: rick owens drkshdw
skirt: april, may
shoes: boemos

reunited

2010-10-10T00:09:00.001-04:00

2 and three-quarter years ago, i went to a nordstrom for the very first time and charged my first special purchase. i drove alone, browsed alone, and paid alone. for these. the colors were absolutely perfect. they were a wee bit loose on me. but they were soft. so soft. nothing had fit my feet quite like these. these were my first 'adult' shoes.
then i 'loaned' them to my mom. she loved them. so much so that she wore them only once.>:-(. i wanted her to love them like i did. they would change her whole outlook, give her a bit of fun in every day she wore them.
that didn't happen, so i've finally accepted her offer to return them to me.
feels. so. good.

i sound like i'm obsessed. weird.

no, really.

ubiquitous

2010-10-08T09:35:00.001-04:00

so it seems the backpack has made a comeback. this is comedic if only because i used to get mocked for carrying a backpack to school when all the 'cool kids' were carrying shoulder bags or messenger bags or whatever else. now, i have been stopped about 5 times this week by folks begging to find out WHERE i got this bag. it was $40. they've got CANVAS backpacks selling for like $150 now. ain't that some.........
anyhoo, i may have to stop carrying it on days when i have a fully loaded schedule. besides the fact that everywhere i go, i feel like i'm wearing a uniform accessory, it's a wee bit too heavy and i don't want to damage the leather straps as it will clearly cost a fortune to restore this bag. thinking of keeping my other one as well, as i was going to try to sell it since its straps needed a little work.
in other notable news, lots of HAIR comments have been coming my way. which is cool. been trying the new qhemet and oyin products i bought. i think i need to do my hair in a non-wash and go style to see how i really like them. but so far, the combination has been keeping my hair really soft. people have been touching and grabbing and fluffing. it's sort of interesting, again, because i spent so much time being defensive about my hair and then caring not a whit about it that this influx of good commentary has shown me that i've--at least somewhat--matured beyond what people have to say. about most anything. i was saying to someone the other day that i would make an excellent college student NOW vs when i went before, simply because i would be able to handle all the sillyness that i used to let invade my calm. i get teased a lot. easy target, i suppose, because i don't quite fit into everyone's boxes. that's what i love about blogging. none of us do. :). so we blog. and find others like ourselves. and often retreat to that comfort zone when the world does not treat us right. but i'm happy now that i'm able to sort of look at it all and say, 'well, that's nice.' and keep it movin'. we should all learn to keep it movin more often. so easy to get caught up in trifles that leave us feeling like we are wanting or inadequate. i say screw that. *cue slow clap*.
um...i'm yammering about backpacks mostly to say i have returned! for the time being at least. gotta finish like 4 hours of homework before class so i can submit and run like hell back home to the post office to get a package, then run like hell back to my desk....to continue reading. perhaps more leisurely than i have been? not feeling too good about school, y'all...
but i do feel good about this:

both via fuckyeahcurlscurlscurls

google search.

wasn't able to find any photographs but i think part of my edited fall wish list is heavy fisherman sweaters. chunky and over-long to wear with boots. i'm also looking for extra long leggings, thermal style. i think rag and bone did something like this, but i haven't been able to find anything online. anyone know what i'm talking about? oh! and elbow length leather gloves. i lost mine on a tipsy bathroom break new year's eve before last. okay, time to close out this uber long post and scurry back into school. :-/

hope you all had a good week. will be attempting to catch up on missed blog posts tonight.

atypical

2010-10-05T11:22:00.000-04:00

been awol...test after test after test have wreaked sheer havoc on my mental state. i was super fly yesterday tho. :). unfortunately, i also ran out with my camera sans memory stick, so....no photos of that. to keep this thing moving, i decided to show y'all some pics of a wedding i went to. i got made up and wore pumps and a frothy pink dress. so un-me.

bb shots.

note how boobalicious my friend is. yeah, upon hearing that, one automatically looks at the other boobs in the picture. in this case, they are nonexistent. couldn't find appropriate undergarments to counteract that effect. and it was hella hot. braless steez. fuck yeah, women's lib.

my friend did my makeup for this. i think she's trying to turn me into a girl. she made me wear this instead of the black dress i had. there were a lot of scandalous broads at this wedding. i mean, honestly, you're in a CHURCH. a place of WORSHIP. i know there are probably tons of single men there, but one ought not to wear a backless scrap of spandex to a religious function. just...ghetto. i had a whole rant about this after a shot of vodka outside the church<----hypocrite?

i drink guinness like an irishman.
this boy keeps me in stitches. we used to be such good friends. then life took over and he moved away and i find myself a little out of sorts and one friend short. boohoo.
so...how do you guys feel about glassess-lessness (totally goes with the boobalicious and braless theme, and general improper grammar in this post)? i look chinkyyyyyyy. but it was nice to not have to wipe whatever mysterious film had gathered on my glasses(againnnn!) for that moment. i'm going to try contacts again, swear. i was blurry as hell for this shot. it's k. i just smiled at the flash. :D.

dress: calvin klein
shoes: sigerson morrison. i broke the tap and had to switch to my lavender flats. way more comfy for dancing. HA backless-spandex-stiletto wearing slags!

are you guys coping with this week better than i am? someone i was beginning to admire made a pass at me yesterday. it threw me for a loop, completely confused me, flattered me, and then the mortification set in. what do i do now? ignore this person? i mean...i shut it down and humiliated them. so....is that another friend lost or can we look beyond our (asexual/platonic) differences and continue down our path to friendship? i need help. cuz this doesn't happen to me. i mean, i got called stuck up this week. more on that later.

k, back to the slaveship with me. hope someone is still reading...happy tuesday!

soft

2010-09-30T22:16:00.000-04:00

shirt: american apparel
skirt: mmm
shoes: henry beguelin
bag: gap

3way

2010-09-29T01:33:00.000-04:00

post freakout wardrobe change:

cardigan: h&m
sweater: james perse
skirt: swapped, from innyvinny
socks: gap
boots: frye
scarf: secondhand
bag: sol (yeah, i really do wear it this much)

second cardigan: f21
shirt: gap

bookish

2010-09-26T21:23:00.000-04:00

jacket: yanuk (i love this thing. rarely get to wear it)
shirt: j crew (on its last legs. will need to replace it soon, hopefully in multiple colors)
shorts: dkny (wardrobe constant, strangely. i love these and their deep pockets.)
shoes: mmm
bag: sol
watch: college graduation gift
silver necklace: vintage
knife and fork earrings: street vendor in boston

got a lot of strange looks wearing this. not sure if it's too dated or too trendy or too....unconventional? i think it was a lot of coverage for the city. people bare a lot of skin this time of year trying to salvage summer, so i guess this almost 'mom' look screamed frump on streets where booty shorts and ass-skimming skirts are the norm.
still have my nose faithfully pressed to the grindstone. test tomorrow and my professor is a moron. from the consensus, it seems we, as a class, will be teaching ourselves chemistry this semester. hurray.

swing swing swing

2010-09-25T03:54:00.000-04:00

blazer: firma
shirt: alessandro dell'acqua
skirt: h&m
shoes: maison martin margiela
bag: furla

doing a bit of shopping. worn the day i picked up my new shearling boots. which the weather will not permit me to wear just yet. deposited the leather boots i already had at the cobbler as per alicia's (persistent/genius) suggestion.
has been a very busy week and will be a busy weekend. same goes for monday/tuesday. only now getting home from work and listing a couple items on ebay. i think i'm now addicted to 'growing' my money. heh. still fantasizing about thigh high boots. gotta wait 2 weeks for the others. depending on the outcome, will pursue the no. 6's. so yummy.
been tacking things onto my inspiration folder lately.
please peruse the following as there seems to be a common thread:

yep. i'm really a dude.

images via venetia scott, stylezeitgeist, tomboystyle, altamiranyc, shopbop, sartorialist

stopping to smell the flowers...literally

2010-09-21T10:52:00.000-04:00

a recent jaunt to the bronx botanical gardens proved tiresome. i wasn't feeling it and i'm not really a plant enthusiast (i know there's a better word for this....sorry), but i was coerced.
some shots of the day:

this scary guy flew over my head with a chipmunk in his claws...and promptly dug in. i'm not big on flowers, but gimme a discovery channel cameo any day and i'm happy.

best part of the day was meeting my niece. she's a handful.

battle of wits...

...she won.

punk. till next we meet on the battlefield...
oh, yeah, meet my mom.

jacket: gap
shirt: sue (best, most expensive shirt ever. fits like a dream in the softest UNsheer cotton. need more.)
pants: walter
shoes: tahari
bag: dkny
scarf: gifted

in panic mode. first exams coming up. not enough time to study. having horrifying flashbacks of bad school days...pray for me. light a candle. cross your fingers/toes/legs/eyes/anything you can. send vibes. anything. i'll need it come thursday. off to anxiously bite my fingers and attempt to function on insufficient sleep.

talk soon, dear friends!

closer inspection

2010-09-19T21:19:00.000-04:00

cowboy. apparently.

bag: handmade soldier's pack (or so it was sold on ebay)
jacket: h&m
shirt: plain white tee
jeans: earnest sewn
boots: frye
jewelry: gifted

so thank you all for your wonderful feedback! i went to the no. 6 store today (to get the boy's feedback) and came across these:

they're incredibly soft and very warm and the saleslady said the color suited me far better than the grey option they also had available. though i had gone in for the shorter aviator or shearling black, both she and the boy (!!!) also said these were a better color choice for me. so i bought them. it's the most expensive thing i have ever purchased for myself and i'm sort of shell shocked and kind of want to return them. the boy went into hugo boss and also committed himself to a rather hefty purchase. strange, as he is typically the naysayer when it comes to shopping. but he said for the value and quality, go for it. i also saw something similar to the acne pistols in the store. but they looked more like fryes than not, so i decided to walk away without closer inspection. i WILL, however, be going back for these definitely:

these i may get in the grey. they are 27" of wonderful, soft, heavenly beauty. the grey nubuck is not snowproof so i may have to get the black or another hard leather color. they would go wonderfully with all my leather skirts i've been banking on for the cool weather. SO, given this new situation, i will probably not get the ndc's and keep these shearling ones. i am wondering if these are a bit too trendy. i know free people have a sort of similar version and everyone has produced a clog of some sort this year and the trickle down version will only worsen. :) so....should i keep them? or get the shorter version:

i would return these mid height ones i bought today and put them toward the purchase of the longer over knee version (which is only a big pricier) in this color. those were fantastic and i HAVE been craving an over knee boot for about 8 years now. i purchased one and will have to try to find a cobbler to take them in because they are a pair of deadstock biker boots and about 18 sizes too wide for even my hefty thighs! the ld tuttles sure are tempting but i want a true over knee boot and not one of those fake ones with the gap behind the knee (ew).

ah decisions decisions. the boy definitely compounded my problem by giving these a million thumbs ups and plunking down the money for them without hesitation. i was going to go home and think them over. i think what will happen now is that i will broaden my collection and maybe stop buying millions of shoes, lol. still have my heart set on the margiela geo heels from the previous post as maybe the pistols if i can find a pair in real life. i was hesitant about purchasing them because of the suede. suede is a mother to keep clean. especially when it's cold. or wet. or humid. or it just rained. you get the idea.

if you want other images of the new boots, you can see the entire lookbook here.

thanks again for the incredible feedback! you guys definitely came through for me!

on the docket

2010-09-19T00:47:00.001-04:00

brief. duty (and sleep) calls.

from top left:
margiela, margiela, acne, acne, ld tuttle, sven/no.6 (considering these in the over knee version. thoughts?)

will be attempting a purchase of at least one of these for this season. realizing i am gravitating more and more toward a very grey palette. i have been searching madly on ebay for a black boot, but having not found any that assuage the deep, dark obsession that have come from seeing these in e-shops and blogger boot collections for the past 2 years, i have decided to cave and save. am i just mad? plus, i love the aggressive softness of grey. it's like making a very quiet statement. but boldly so. what say you? is it true that one should invest in a pair of sturdy (cheap?) black boots to stomp around in? or go for what's great. i'm trying to avoid suede this go round for more practical wear, but definitely am smitten by the soft color and fabric...oooo0000oooo.
anyhoo, i have convinced the boy to go with me downtown (again) tomorrow to try on a pair of the clog boots in person. he finds them hideous and trendy (he admitted tonight that before deciding firmly that a woman is attractive, he looks at her shoes first<-----HOT...gay?). am hoping that my shapely calves and rounded thighs will dazzle him in shearling (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA). will let you know how that turns out ici.

more of a possibility (cheaper):

ndc is well known for their quality.

i have dodged them for their hefty prices. may invest in these. what say you, ladies? plunge? or save for the big....4 above.

i think these would be fantastic for year round wear. am looking for something to complement my darker fall wardrobe and supplement my boot collection. my fryes are quite heavy and really not fun for fall. these, however, i may actually sole so that i can wear them until it snows. at which point one of the shearling options may be more palatable for the slush. that, or a pair of hunting boots.

oh, and thanks for all the feedback on that hat. totally looked like the pied piper today. straight hair def has its benefits, but am already missing my curly hair. as are you, it seems! got new products. can't WAIT to try them out, but my friend doesn't want me to wash my hair just yet.

0_0 <---fave new expression, as it's basically a keyboarded version of the following:

heh.

good night, my pets.

delayed reaction

2010-09-17T09:54:00.000-04:00

the boy told me WELL AFTER THE FACT that i should have kept on my original jacket choice. navy, with gold buttons. alas, we were already outside. he was already late. and i was completely pissed now cuz he had already told me my shoes were hideous (which they kinda are) and frowned at my clothing choices (so i kept changing). >:-(

so yeah, totally wore this to school with the 'wrong' jacket. it doesn't look as good as the original. *sadness*
anyhow, these shoes are awesome. they're OBNOXIOUSLY lime green and are some sort of mutant hybrid between a boat shoe and a pointy flat. yeah. marinate on it.

jacket: dollhouse (have had this since....sophomore year(?) of college)
shirt: 0039
jeans: rag and bone
shoes: cole haan
backpack: sol

testing

2010-09-14T20:35:00.000-04:00

anyone know what this kind of hat is called? not a cloche, right? not quite a fedora? some sort of pied piper type style hat i think. straight hair is cool in that i get to wear hats. not so cool in that people think i'm wearing a wig when i have a headband on. no, really. i got accused of wearing a wig at least 4 times this weekend.

hat: bcbg
shirt: french connection
jeans: j brand
shoes: cordwainer
bag: eddie bauer

the boy said i can't throw out this bag because it defined who i am/was/have been for such a large portion of my life. i've almost always had a leather backpack this color. found this one in a flea market in connecticut when i was about 14. i hate connecticut for what it has represented in my life. but it's pretty cool for flea markets and garage sales and the like. good furniture. people also teased me incessantly for this bag. everyone else had a jansport or messenger bag or some other such trendy thing and i have always always ALWAYS had this leather bag in some iteration or other. i have physics homework to go makeup so i will pause this meandering litany of randomness for now.

what have we been doing this week???? does it make me nosy that i ask that sort of thing a lot here?

oh yeah, don't forget to tell me what the hat is if you've any idea. culture-fy me. <--clearly i need it.

he LIKES it likes it

2010-09-10T09:01:00.000-04:00

anyone ever use that phrase? lol, sounds so silly, but it so accurately captures the full magnitude of the situation.

unseen denim jacket: yanuk
shoes: mine de rien (gave me blisters 2 days ago after a long hiatus...but i love them so. forgiveness was easy.)

so to continue the theme of wardrobe cleaning, i gave away a huge batch of clothing yesterday to a wonderful friend who has not really shopped since high school. no, seriously. she loves clothing and style but is more a makeup and hair kind of girl and spent all her energies building up that repertoire.
so while i was off bringing home garbage bags worth of stuff from the dreaded h&m (not so bad in fall/winter), she was perfecting her craft, being a grownup, investing in her future. that makes me feel quite flighty, i must say. so i gave her all of it. and gladly. she looks beautiful in it all. which also makes me quite sad. lol. kidding. i'm hoping she gets more use out of it all than i did.

i held onto this because of the cut. see the full skirt? the slightly nipped waist? the seaming? i pulled this out of a hole in my closet where i'd stuffed it after realizing i didn't want to hang it up as it would merely end up on the floor. then yesterday i crammed it into a drawer. i pulled it out today so the boy could take photos of me and my friend's latest present to me. i thrifted this dress for about $7 about a year ago and i've never regretted it, though i have parted with almost everything else i bought that day. it made me feel svelte and dancer-like and completely at ease with my body because it was such an easy fix with simple fabric. had i 8 more of these, i would probably wear little else in summer. it has no brand but it looks like a simple sewing project. if only i could sew. :) i will need to stick to similar silhouettes, i think, as it's more flattering to my body type than most other cuts.

also, the boy took like 100 pictures yesterday of my hair in straight form. says it 'brings back memories'. >:-(.
perhaps i should straighten my hair more regularly? i think he really prefers it this way, long and loose vs tightly coiled. might be time to incorporate a bit more variation. i did lose about 2 inches, i think, in overall length because i cut my own hair a few months back and my friend had to even it out and shape it. heh. yeah, i knew it was stupid but there were SPLITS, damnit.

fresh:

yeah, i was in the marching band. so?

have you guys figured out your bodies yet? your best colors? your best hair shape? your best (glasses) frames? was it hard? educate me!

many many many thanks to pret for her endless support and advice. you should hold seminars!

"an' i HOPE you'on like it...."

2010-09-09T12:18:00.000-04:00

jacked from rnr

these are the sort of faces that would make most men walk straight through a flaming building without batting even an eyelash.

i'm hatin'.

all but first from here.

now am off to battle the illness of the week, my hair, WORK, and my utter fear of touching my eyeball.

4 stitch

2010-09-06T00:34:00.000-04:00

shirt: van heusen
skirt: chaiken
shoes: MMM
bag: dkny

reading this post by dead fleurette. kind of creepily obsessed with her mantra/dogma/intricate perspective on clothes.
the pencil skirt has never looked good on me. i took a risk on this one because i needed a basic work skirt. i think i should generally opt for a flared/skater/bias cut type item because of my hip width. i get that riding effect, which is annoying when walking a good deal. but i like it for its pockets. i will likely never wear this for professional purposes but as a simple staple, i think i may be able to make it work if i am not walking a lot. regardless, the pencil skirt is not for me.

i do have a question for you that may come off as insecure or simply vain, but i need a second pair of eyes which i do not have access to at the moment.
based on my photos posted thus far, is it your opinion that skinny jeans are not flattering on my figure? i like the close silhouette, but i think they make me appear quite pear-shaped. i would be willing to continue to wear them as i have a good selection and they are easy to throw on (plus boot cut is kind of not appealing to me as it requires heels, and straight legs also seem more flattering with a height component.
just wanted an opinion. this wardrobe honing is quite fun. :)

hope all of you are having a lovely holiday weekend. sleep is definitely more appealing now.

9310

2010-09-03T11:22:00.000-04:00

jacket: iisli
shirt: j crew
belt: linea pelle
jeans: j brand
shoes: henry beguelin

got a stain on these. put some soap directly on to 'pre-treat'. washed. the 'ivory' pants are now dotted with white.
#$@%....
debating bleaching the whole thing.

may have to take a hit on those black shoes. they were inexpensive. i spent about $40, calling them a 'closet staple'. i was like 19 and knew nothing about fashion. i think i was just trying to get my way at the time. will have to go look for another pair. i'm off to school/work now. scarfing breakfast as i type this.
pray for the east coast; we've got a hurricane coming...wtf.

the drapes

2010-09-01T11:50:00.000-04:00

tank: scala
skirt: rick owens
sweater: h&m
bag: dkny
flats: born (tweeted about walking these into the dirt. there's a HOLE in them. A HOLE...is this even fixable?)

7 series

2010-08-29T01:33:00.000-04:00

been getting some excellent sartorial advice from pretaporterp on trying to dress myself. feels like toddling about with no clue where to turn, lol. going to be spending a lot of time in fitting rooms, it seems, as things that used to look great, now look....less than.....and with the changes i'll be going through in coming months, i need the sort of wardrobe that allows me to just grab and go. no thought. no process. no trying to force all the various shades in my wardrobe to go together. i may be able to work the learning experience into the dailies. if anyone gives a crap.
super tired. work. school. other work. life....it's a little exhausting.
i did really enjoy this look. felt very confident here despite being with a rather 'tough' crowd today. it was nice to be comfortable, feel comfortable, enjoy the day without constant pulling, tucking, tweaking, staring sort of uncomfortably at my outfit. i didn't iron a damn thing. i left, wrinkles and all, and didn't worry about it. i like those days. those days of just feeling good. you ever have those?

oh, and those shoes up there? i'm sprung.

jacket: zara
shirt: corpus
shorts: dkny
shoes: martin margiela
bag: jas mb

ragamuffin

2010-08-27T11:03:00.002-04:00

these photos are neither artisitic nor well-composed, but i was photog-less

this last one....def giggleworthy.

reminded me of this

and in that same vein, this is kinda adorable if you neglect to focus on the psychosocial ramifications:

lil kids dancing warms my black heart.

sidebar: happy birthday to innyvinny!

via

this seemed the most appropriate blogger birthday cake....it'd be awesome if they could've gotten a flash on there....maybe in candle form?
i want cake. dammit.

oh, don't worry, i'm washing my hair today and finally combing through it. will let you know how many inches i lose in the process.

shirt: american apparel (it's like a sweatshirt inside! it's sooo soft!)
pants: maison martin margiela (ligne 6? i think?)
shoes: cole haan. i love wearing these. so obnoxiously bright.
hoodie not pictured: levi's, same color EXACTLY as the shoes. unintentional, swear.

and thanks to these pants, this happened to me like 816384 times at work:

Jokes.com

Anjelah Johnson - Butt Check-Out

comedians.comedycentral.com

the hangover

2010-08-26T18:44:00.000-04:00

first day of school. totally trashed from yesterday. :(
whole new take on naughty schoolgirl. lol.
yeah, that took a wrong turn.
now that i have bought schoolbooks and pens and highlighters and stuff, i feel ready for CLASSES. yaay, i promise to be fully sober on monday for school. **nodding**

sweater: f21
shirt: calvin klein
jeans: earnest sewn
shoes: henry beguelin
bag: dkny

also, now that i have worked for 59 hours since last thursday (more work tomorrow and next week, btw), i will have sufficient funds to:
a. invest in a netbook. this laptop is BANANAS-heavy
b. purchase a new iphone. the shsattered screen has now begun to come loose
c. buy some more oyin products. my hair is in dire need.
d. save.
e. oh, and fix my thigh high boots so they fit better. hoping they are kickass for fall. kick.ASS.

k, back to work. so GEEKED i am getting paid!

boygirl

2010-08-24T00:56:00.000-04:00

i have never been particularly feminine. i can remember only once being excited about dressing up; i had a crazy floral printed dress with a strappy back. it was my favorite article of clothing and i never once wore it because it felt false. since then, i have often been teased for wearing dresses with an effeminate affectation. simply was never able to pull of the dainty girl look.
having looked at gillian tennant's collection, however, i find my interest in soft fabrics and colors renewed. though spring has long come and gone, i like the refreshing palette of tennant's imagination. i would ideally like to wear her bloomer shorts (been looking for a pair like this for AGES!) and silk top as follows:

while not overtly feminine, i find the tougher boots and structured jacket balance out the look to keep it more 'me'. the versatility of her collection is wonderful! i'd never be able to pull this outfit off with strappy pumps and dangly earrings, but this would be a great fall look, no? i'd maybe even top it off with a super chunky scarf and this hat.....

so cozy! it's chilly tonight, so i'm probably biased, but i'm suddenly eager for fall. and a raise so i can afford those everlastingly expensive boots.

find the g.t. collection here.

balance.

2010-08-23T13:49:00.000-04:00

i don't like this outfit anymore.

totally ashy. an' i hope you don't like it...lol.

sweater: h&m
shirt: scala
belt: ???
jeans: rag and bone
shoes: cnc, costume national

been living in this sweater for the past few weeks. it is the perfect cut and weight for crisp summer evenings and cold trains and chilly office spaces. will definitely be needing another one. i wonder if they still make it?

also been enjoying the last dregs of summer and racking up hours at work. so many hours. as in i got home at nearly 3 this morning and will be going back to work tonight at 6...i may actually need to get more sleep now.

dood....DOOOOOD, school starts on THURSDAY! *hangs self* but i'm actually kind of stoked to spend some time on self-amelioration. heh. will let you know how it turns out round about christmas time. i think this could be really good for me. a series of very difficult decisions and hard lessons have brought me here and i'm very happy that i went through them. just ready now for it to be 'me-time'. me time is essential. my good word of the day: please give yourselves as much me time as YOU need. sometimes, we (ahem, i) forget to put others aside in order to give yourself some much needed *insert noun here*. so this is just a friendly reminder to occasionally say f*** the world and give yourself what you need. happy monday. :)

want

2010-08-17T13:15:00.001-04:00

today is my first day of work. i must leave shortly and yet, here i sit, tap-tap-tapping away like a moron. i've just dragged everything out of my closet and onto my bedroom floor because i'm fed up with it all and can't bear to look at the clutter. i really must take a serious look at the things in there and try to purge again (hey alicia!!!). perhaps this can be a monthly thing. i know there are items in there i will not be wearing any time soon, yet i dread throwing them out and wishing i had not. and a moment later, i admit that if i need something badly enough, i will go out and find a new one that better suits my current aesthetic. dead fleurette, this is partly your fault. but i thank you for injecting this newly resurrected need for clarity in my space (again). oy....i really SHOULD get ready.

as true fall draws nearer, i yearn for more and more warm knits and comfy bits to ease the cool days and nights ahead. i'm quite the anti-femme with my non-stiletto policy. i quite like heels, y'know. just not on me. and not on the hill i have to climb to get to school. and not on my daily treks zig zagging across town. and not up and down stairs in class. but definitely into heels. anyway, here are all the items i can't afford but will try to find copies of so i can NOT spend a shitload of cash.

included (clockwise):














	The Row oversized sweater; Proenza Schouler Waffleknit sweatshirt; GG750 Crewneck pullover; Stella McCartney sweater; 3.1 Phillip Lim Double sleeve pullover; Les Chiffoniers leather leggings; Minnetonka back zipper boot; No. 6 classic biker boots with shearling; Acne short pistol boot; Converse leather chucks; Full length leather gloves; Steven Alan ruffle panty; Journelle lace bralette (my boobs are way too 'sensitive' for this but a girl can dream. maybe i should also invest in some pasties...); O french knickers; Kiki de Montparnasse silk bloomers.

I would also like a leather jacket, but alas, I could not find one that did not look like every other rick owens/helmut lang/burberry shearling knock off. still pissed about this shearling trend. hoping it fades by next year so i can buy a proper sheepskin jacket. i've AAAALWAYS wanted one dammit. hope you're all having a good week thus far. :)

in series

2010-08-14T10:21:00.001-04:00

apologies for my absence. my photographer has just returned from a trip abroad. i now have decent photos again. in return for your patience, i give you this super long post. or you can just look at the pictures and move on.

closer:

temperatures dropped last night. finally able to wear full pants and a shirt without creating my own puddle. k, that's gross.
these are some of my new purchases. summer is almost over and it feels like all my buying was supposed to be summer oriented. good thing i can carry all this into fall. busy week and weekend ahead. i got the job i applied for, so i'm hoping it all pans out as i expect it to. a girl's gotta eat, after all.
oh, and if you were thinking of going to see dinner for schmucks?
Don't.
it's a complete wash. and a terrible knock off of the original. much like these, eh?

BLOODY FAIL.

shirt: something italian...

jeans: earnest sewn harlan (FINALLY. they fit like a dream. i was unwilling/unable to pay $100+ for them.)

shoes: henry beguelin (!!!!!!!!)

bag: jas mb

belt: jimmy'z (manhattan mall; not sure if this is a national store or some random nyc brand)

i can carry all these things into fall. loving these shoes. went online looking for a pair of minnetonkas yesterday and realized i probably ought not purchase the brown since i've got moc-type shoes already. also of note, i went hunting for shearling about a year and a half ago as i really wanted the warmth and style of a leather jacket for winter. now that shearling is de rigeur....

i will have to deal with price points like these. this seems to happen a lot. i get obsessed with something and then it shows up on a runway and the prices inflate beyond my means. this happened with clogs, that maxi skirt/dress phase, boyfriend jeans...maybe i'm a fashion psychic.

yeah, not helpful.

damn you to hell, burberry. well, actually i love you. will you go on (mad, stupid, crazy) clearance so i can buy you?

here's that top i mentioned. took koko's advice to try new bottoms with it:

OH, i also took out my first student loan ever in life. i'm sort of mortified. i was fortunate enough to have my school fees all paid in full as an undergrad (i love scholarships). it's a bit harder in my position now as i'm not fresh out of high school and i'm taking post-grad classes at an undergrad level. it's all quite confusing, but with the loans i plan on taking out, i expect this to be my future:

src

higher education, here i come. fuck.

deciding factor

2010-08-11T02:03:00.000-04:00

more collage fun!
i was told i resemble aunt jemima with this scarf on my head. *shrugs*

self portraits, lol.

shirt: coming soon
bra: calvin klein
jeans: levi's
shoes: miu miu
scarf: vintage...something or other
messy apartment: courtesy of me; i wish i had a good photo taking spot like koko. jealz.

trying to decide if i should keep this coming soon sweater. it's a man's shirt, but the thin weave and the slouchy fit just seemed so perfect. however, upon bringing home a rather, err...large bill, i have to make some cuts and this is one of the items that may have to go back. upon trying it with this, i think it def will, however. not so chic. i kind of like my maple syrup/old slave headscarf though. i don't think anyone else did today. alas, a shit i fail to give.

how are y'all coping with this heat? i'm melting. MELTINNNNGGG. <---does this actually mimic a 'ng' sound?

12 hours

2010-08-08T20:45:00.000-04:00

surreptitiously took this photo. this woman's posture, skirt, and headscarf all gave the impression that she was very wise. silly, i thought. so i snapped it. :) i thought she was beautiful. and probably wise.

wait for it...

...ruining their photo.

followed by my lightning fast escape.

mesh dress: rogan
bandeau bra: calvin klein
shorts: rogan
shoes: repetto
bag: furla

picnic in central park. great conversations. admitted to possession of a blog and obsession with fashion. crazy cab ride in hunt of a bathroom. dipped in and out of a restaurant with a raging manager yelling at us. an assortment of alcoholic beverages at the bar. wings. waking up hours later with no recollection of what happened and how i got to be in stranger's bed. more drinks. tv veg session. more talking. vodka, music mix, more conversations, 2 eastern europeans and a sunrise later, i began the trek home.

full day. i am content.

should've worn makeup

2010-08-06T19:31:00.000-04:00

yikes.

hurray! an outfit post.

dress: april,may
shoes: munoz vrandecic
bag: jas m.b.

got this april,may dress and debating keeping it. i like the shift style but am unsure where one would wear this style of dress. do love the bag though. have yet to wear these shoes out of the house. they're kind of loose in the heel. i don't care. i love them. i also love this bag. the leather is amazing. heavy, but soft. little on the small side for me, but i've found that without a job and the need to bring my lunch or an extra cardigan or a big textbook, it's sort of nice to just carry the bare minimum.

been on the prowl for summer inspiration. seems like everyone is already looking to fall (0_0). so since it isn't here just yet, i have decided to just try to milk the warmth for as long as it lasts. i'm sure winter will be no more merciful this year than last.

stumbled across these:

both from tumblr

and this is hilarious

via

so....how is life in the summertime? sweet and hot?

the olden days

2010-08-04T16:26:00.000-04:00

looking for outfits? i got nothin'. at least not today. probably in the morning i will have some fabulousness to debut as i bought way more clothing than i should have and will need your help in sifting. thought i'd share these old tidbits from the old blog until i feel more camera ready. see you tomorrow!

frijul10

2010-07-30T01:13:00.003-04:00

Things I Have Done from NeverWood High on Vimeo.

i miss old hollywood.

it was a time of true leading ladies and the perfection of a much-adored craft.

and knitting, trousers, and brogues. and curly hair, and whiskey, i'm told.

hell yeah. THAT'S a woman.

i also love:

via

cate blanchett
i find her so alluring

via

lots floating about in my head. will share soon. bon weekend!

shirt/dress

2010-07-26T23:02:00.001-04:00

trashed.

dress: h&m
shoes: miu miu
bag: dkny

yet another drunken-brunch-lunch-dinner-after dinner drinks session. wound up with my bra in my friend's purse (i need that back, baby girl...), and a paper plate in mine...not sure why just yet.

this is just a big shirt i got from h&m. $10 well spent. i actually bought it for $17 b/c the hood h&m cashier was a bit frazzled by the MASSIVE crowd. so despite the huge red sticker, she charged me the higher price. yep, i went back and got my $7.95 back.

wealthier people reclaim smaller sums so i tried not to feel uncomfortable about it.

i DID, however, suffer quite a few strange looks (pre-bra removal) from persons on the street. i'm still not quite sure why. i think it's because it's really just a huge sack and it sort of clings and sways in strange ways. i don't see it as very provocative, but perhaps i missed something? thoughts?

i'm happy you all liked my last post! i really, REALLY dig good packaging. sort of speaks to the quality of the item, no?

off to round 2 of interviews tomorrow. now i have too many jobs and will likely have to whittle but i'm also not sure of that. for tonight, i just need to get some rest. couldn't sleep yesterday and only slept 4 hours from the night before. wound up trying to hypnotize myself on my sofa at 6am. restless nights are awful.

how was monday? smooth transition from the weekend, i hope.

take it off, baby

2010-07-23T09:44:00.001-04:00

i wanted to share something intimate with you.

i love getting packages.

don't you?

i'm quite the sucker for packaging. lovely packaging. it's what i love most about so-called 'luxury items'. it's the effort that is put into every little detail. even the packaging.

even the simplest of packaging...

...when you open it, it gives a slight thrill, just knowing that someone took such pains to ensure the quality and safety of your item.

can you see the craftmanship? lol...can you see my reflection?

i love that bolt. or is it a nut...?

look how lovingly it's wrapped.

this shot was tough. pardon the poor editing.

and this, folks, is....my new baby.

we've only just met.

but already i'm smitten.

we have waited so long to be together.

i'm completely...

...absolutely....

...thoroughly...

...in love.

i think this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship. do, give is your blessing.

you'll excuse the photo heavy post. i'm a bit delirious right now...only got about 2 hours of sleep. strange how the opportunity to sleep is there, nothing but time...but the urge flies almost as soon as the opportunity emerges.

this is how i'm spending my morning....

new york, i love you. i really do. and i love this movie as well. must be a new york thing...wholly self-absorbed in the city. makes me feel almost nostalgic for things i have not experienced. does that make sense? new york reminds me of a battered shoe: well-loved, well-traveled, well-worn, and beautiful, unique and exquisite in its various imperfections.

oh shiz...i'm waxing poetic today. this song makes me want to buy a bunch of kiki de montparnasse and dance around with a cigar. and maybe a top hat. no?

how has the week been treating you?

loose bits

2010-07-20T15:25:00.000-04:00

over the heat....i'm ready for fall.

what i anticipate my daily 'look' will be. once i get that damn bag.
basics, FTW.

birth of a jedi...

from gizmodo

in a funk today. as i was yesterday. and most of the weekend.
well, aside from this:

i want these. bad.

grey's boots

me, later, after a drink, and some ice cream

well, maybe just me if i don't get ice cream.

i need to get sized for a bra. this is becoming a problem. my boobs fit nowhere. another purchase for the fall. along with a passport renewal application and good socks. i love thick, cushy socks.

these made me happy:

via tumblr

via

back with a proper update soon. nyc is kicking my butt this summer.

sweltering test shots

2010-07-18T21:31:00.001-04:00

the boy toying with the lighting. it was too hot to do much last night, but i begged him for photos. i feel like this looked cooler in daylight.

sheer shirt: from my mommy
tank: ???
pants: walter
shoes: elie tahari
bag: etro

necklace: vintage

we went out on a date last night. the punk refused to tell me where we were going so i went into shit-shock trying to find an outfit to wear. trashed my closet. settled on this because it looks...grown up, i suppose? and a little generic. almost stepfordish.

aquavit was divine, however, and well worth the wait, and the subsequent stroll around the west side and onto the frying pan was wonderful. it was simply too hot to do much else. so i whined until we went home.

i styled my hair without detangling it and ironed my pants and even wore makeup. while applying it and waiting for the boy to pick me up, it made me realize i'm terribly fearful of doing close ups here because of my skin. i took some photos yesterday as it was a friend's last day of work\. everyone was beaming and tipsy and all the shots of me were very uncomfortable for me to look at. needless to say, they will not be going up on facebook! i think it's the heat, so i'll be working on my skin AND my body this summer. woot! bikram is gonna sort me out...i'm freaking terrified.

anything great happen this weekend?

hair, there and everywhere

2010-07-15T12:31:00.007-04:00

WARNING: LONG

while it's all the rage now to be sporting a natural hairstyle, it still has its unpleasant moments. i've grown to love my hair and the surprises it has to offer (like the fact that a good 4 inches square on my head are completely straight. STRAIGHT, i tell you.), but i still recall having to deal with the strange looks, the negative comments, the head shakes from close friends and family, all because of my hair. "it's JUST hair" has always been my mantra, but i've come to see that it's not 'just' hair. it's a statement, in and of itself. i've had the most awful things said to me, all because of my hair. i let it bother me for a long time because i was so insecure about it. i did, after all, look like a boy for a long time, and it sort of robbed me of any confidence in my attractiveness and femininity. this was also around the same time that i took an interest in fashion and was wearing items of a...'questionable' quality. i was experimenting. so shoot me. anyway, i wanted to share a few pictures of my journey.

thought i'm not a crazy gung ho natural head with youtube videos and all the latest combs and brushes (i can't believe i really wrote that), i do think it's important now to look back on the experience. i've taken a lot from it; i've become more confident, a weee bit more assertive, and i think, mostly, that i've grown. all this from HAIR?, you may ask?

i've never thought of myself as defined by any one thing. not my culture, my nationality, my education, my family; truly, i've always sort of seen myself as an island. i think i may have mentioned a while back that i was mid-conversation with someone and she blurted that she did not see me as a person of breeding. she quickly went on to say that she did not think i had no class or anything like that, but the way in which i addressed people and conversed with them and my overall demeanor was that of a person who just came up like everyone else. my affluent background seemed to have NO bearing whatever on how i interacted with people and she was surprised that i was not snotty or obnoxious to be around. it was quite the circular compliment! but i took it to heart and i was humbled by it. it made me feel like a true lady. does that make any sense?

i look frightening here, sorry. i was REALLY pissed that day.
anyway, back to hair. while i felt i was not defined by it, i realized once i no longer had it, that people had begun to sort of chip away at my confidence. i had always been praised for my thick, long hair, even when repeated relaxers and poor maintenance slowly snapped it all off an inch at a time. i remember days when i'd lay down on my boyfriend's bed--for some reason, we had many of our deepest conversations in bed (fully clothed, thank you) while birds chirped and life went on. it was like our sanctuary--and when i got up, there'd be a pile of hair where my head had been. it all just started to fall out for no apparent reason. against my own arguments, i went to work one day and stopped by my hairdresser. i told her to cut it. she looked at me in the mirror, grinned with excitement and broke out the scissors. i left with about 2 inches of hair that day. i felt empowered, excited. i had been living on my own and the boyfriend, in another state at the time, had no idea. basically, there was no one to share it with. i went home and stared and stared at my hair and all the while, i couldn't stop grinning.

the next day at work, ONE person commented on my hair. everyone else sort of smiled and stared at my head and then walked away. all that hyper-confidence eroded when i went to my mom's and she yelled at me for about an hour. my father shook his head in disbelief. he used to make me brush my hair, 100 strokes on each side, as a child. then he'd take hundreds of photos of it. again, i have no documented proof of this, nor does he, but it was a new image for him to grow accustomed to and it was clear he did NOT like it.

this effect took place basically everywhere i went for months. the boyfriend and i had a major fight and when i showed up with my short hair, he took a look at it, said 'wow' and then looked way. and that was that. for months, i did this on my own and basically just let people say whatever they liked. it was no longer relevant. i had isolated myself in this bubble of 'kiss my ass' and that's what carried me through. people offered to get my hair straightened for me, to have a weave put it, suggestions of wigs came up. i kindly rejected, all the while explaining that it was 'JUST' hair and it would grow back, or it would not. i didn't really care. but the whole time, i was terrified that i'd be trapped in this phase of 'ugly' forever. what if it didn't grow back? what would i do? would i continue to dress like a boy to pass off this new hairstyle? would i ever be able to wear a wedding dress? would ANYONE ever find me attractive again?!?

this was my birthday. i had trimmed all the straight, permed ends off. i had nothing to wear, i played with my hair for nearly an hour and could do nothing with it. i don't know how to braid. it was too short to twist. i had no products. i was miserable. i spent my birthday on a boat for about 3 hours, miserable. the boy went out of his way to get me this treat for new year's and all i could think was, 'i'm so ugly'.

i began to get used to it, though. just decided that i'd rise above my appearance. if i were ugly, then i'd be the most charming, interesting ugly person ever. i'd be 'sexy-ugly'.

i grew bolder in my outfit choices. took on challenges with strangers. tried to learn more about the world around me. i grew outside of myself. fuck hair. who cares? i was a person with far more to offer than a self-conscious wimp born out of some follicular decline.

my mom still hates my hair. and people still offer to get it 'fixed' for me.

i'm glad that i'm now able to look beyond this, not just because my hair has grown back, but because i am so much more than that. if you look at me and all you see is a tangled mess of hair that you then use to try to categorize me--black panther? uber-feminist? some sort of raging back-to-the-motherland freak?--well then i am sad that you are unable to simply see a person for more than their parts. are we not greater than that?

humans are rich in culture and experience and stories that mold them into the characters that you and i see on the street everyday, from the tattooed 'freak' to the niqab-clad. who are we to look at them and judge them merely on the basis of their appearance. i could have so much to offer, and yet, all you want to do is 'fix' me to fit me into some safe label that you can then digest and move on from. my entire world has been broadened by a simple haircut. that may make me shallow, but i am grateful for having the nerve to take that plunge on my own, with no one holding my hand.

i have bad hair days like anyone else, horrendous really. but it gives me such pleasure to be my own person, no longer trying to do the safe thing and fit into some comfortable categorization of womanhood. innyvinny is like a dream come true for people like me. she's BALD!!! and she's HOT. and she knows it. it took me years to learn this lesson: you are you; it's irrelevant what anyone else says. all that matters is who YOU are to YOU. that's the bottom line.
my hair is huge. it frightens people. babies stare. and i love it. i love myself. and i'm pretty great. and i'm still learning to say it. someone once told me to look in the mirror and say to myself 'you are beautiful'. i still can't. i giggle and look away. i've teared up. i've flounced away in fury. yes, at my reflection!
it took a haircut for me to grow up. i wish i had done it sooner. that's my womanhood story.

being natural for me is nothing about a statement. it's just what i like. it's my preference. i don't denigrate people who perm their hair, be it to go straight or curly. i just think that my hair and i have become good friends on this journey. i'm learning to love myself more everyday and it's nice to have company. :)

so, having read my epic tale (about a bloody haircut, of all things, lol), do you have any interesting tales to tell about yourselves? how did you all get to be so awesome?

do you think i'm sexy?

2010-07-15T11:34:00.000-04:00

burberry, style.com, my many bags

why, yes. yes i do.

making my christmas list (ha!). had an interview today. watching love jones with the boy. he's never seen it; i love 'opening his eyes' to new experiences, lol. goes back to the post about the crap on the radio now. i mean, he really CHARMED that woman. poetry, boy...works EVERY time when properly executed, gents.

suffering a serious hankering for bacon. and leather leggings.

and these (rather hideous) alexander wangs:

any will do, but i do favor the grey. just seems really functional and comfy/warm for the fall/winter.

i would also like a bigass cross body bag. i have found that shoulder bags are kind of fruity for my liking. backpacks are functional but people will mock you. a lot. even when you insist that backpacks are the epitome of 'parisian chic'.

plus, it leaves you hands free! but not messenger bags. i am not a silicon valley geek.

yum. jerome dreyfus.

thanks for the genuine, thoughtful(!) comments on my little girl lost post. i'm thinking (thanks to innyvinny) more seriously about the content here. i've only posted outfits and some images of vacations and events, for fear of getting too 'personal' and alienating people. but it's nice to be able to interact and share. must be the anonymity of the computer screen.

in any event, i'm working on the next post already. more of me yammering on about myself. should be fun. :)
do any of you have dream items for the fall/winter? or are you just enjoying the baking pan that is summertime?

baby it's cold outside

2010-07-13T15:30:00.000-04:00

top: gap
skirt: rebekah and chloe
shoes: diba
bag: dkny

too wet for outdoor photos. my hair WAS curly this morning. got soaked and after a chilly train ride it looks like this. all kinds of stuff going on up there now.
purchased this philip b conditioner a while ago and have begun using it for my sporadic conditioning treatments:

and am very disappointed with the results. while i didn't pay retail for it, it does absolutely nothing and just sits on the hair until rinsed. damn shame. it costs $46 on amazon. and i DON'T recommend it. it's not even good as a detangling conditioner. i'm going to use it up and toss the bottle as it seems to be absolute crap for my hair. i heard bleak things about the brand but was willing to try it. will be going back to giovanni and yes to carrots.

in other grim news:

this is the worst film i'v ever seen. i'm furious that i wasted nearly 2 hours of my time on it waiting for the two (STUPID!!!!) female leads to either die or lose their dumbass camera. really, damn shame. it's a ripoff of cloverfield, which i discovered after doing an internet search during this shittiest of shit movies. interminable crock of ass....

in keeping with my abject fury at the course music has taken, i wanted to share this. heard it just last night and fell in love. have a listen:

little girl lost

2010-07-12T19:35:00.000-04:00

my dad showed me a picture of myself when i was about 2. had just started school. it was a family portrait. 3 generations of family. i stood off to one side, sort of out of the picture. and i stood in my little green mini skirt, my favorite thing in the world, with my hair in a little afro puff.

everyone else was smiling. i looked basically like i look above. isolated. angry. aloof yet contentious. i was 2. it's the only surviving portrait i have of myself before adulthood.

my house burned down when i was in college. left in the care of my uncle, who clearly was the wrong man for the job, my entire family's legacy went up in flames.

my mom used to tease that i was the 'most photographed baby in the history of babies'. my father was obsessed. my parents were pretty heavy into photography. bought tons of cameras and lenses and developed their own film in our bathrooms. there was a red lightbulb in the bathroom right up until i was 6.

i envy people their family photos. their baby pictures. their tooth fairy stories. their bronzed booties. i have none of that. all i have is me as i am now and the fleeting memories i have of my childhood. flashes of color and light and nostalgia.
there are certainly worse things, but i wish that i could have even some small part of myself for myself. so i take all of these now. i obsessively photograph every minute detail of my life. because i want to look back one day and know me at 16. me at 22. me at 40. me crying. i want all of those memories. and all i have is what i occasionally see in the mirror now and then. my most recent photographs are of myself at 19. and this blog. when you grow up as i have, having something solid to hold onto feels so important.

so today, july 12th, in my 23rd year, i share with you few my new favorite snack.

tates cookies, fresh strawberries, and cool whip. noms. this was important today. as was the green nailpolish in a hue that i have only just found out was all the rage. and i share it with you just as you share your lives and outfits and households with me. and that's as much of an anchor as i think i need today. thanks for reading.

mesh dress: rogan
white dress: michael stars
shoes: repetto
bag: triple five soul

lament for lyrics

2010-07-11T23:54:00.000-04:00

this is a rant. i'm mad.

whatever happened to good ol' R&B? i remember when a boy would sing songs about his endless love for you, how desperately he wanted to "get to know" you, all while dressed in his best gloves or his favorite hat or his best white shirt (noticing a theme, heh). now, all that seems to be getting airplay is how much he don't need you, how he's so happy you don't need him, how he's gonna break your back, how he's gonna do you in the club (or at his house on your birthday...yeah that's what i want for my birthday...the saaaaaaame lame ass performance as always, jeremih), how you ought to be droppin' it like it's hot...awesome.

i know chivalry is dying (trust me, it's NOT dead) and men are dogs and on and on and on, but is romance being skewered as well? what do teen girls have to look forward to--let alone up to--now?

drake

this dude....

the bieber

pre-pubescent boys

r. kelly

men who will lovingly urinate on you

trey songz

and "thugZ who invented sex"....did you, indeed? i'll bet historians are baffled by how well you've aged.

seems like getting knocked up by a rapper is all that single young women have to fantasize about. no more sweet crooning--you know you loved tevin campbell as much as the next tween girl--or being dubbed the beauty in that special man's life. no romance. nada. zip.

but it's not just the men. we also have:

ciara

this one riding the beat. no really, the beat. pinky swear.

beyonce

the god fearing southern belle

nicki minaj

no. words. but i hear she's looking for 'real love'.

by no means were dru hill and LSG giving us wonderful messages of positivity and chastity but at least there was some inkling of....emotion there. i was never a hardcore r&b fan but having recently listened to the radio (my dad loaned me his bose...effing amazing machine!), i realize that i'm not missing much, and i'd much rather take my billie holiday and kings of leon over this smut. it used to be that you could change the station and catch a soft word or two, but things have changed so drastically. i'm so upset by the direction that our music has taken. not 'our' as people of color, but rather our generation. every other word has got 4 letters (the more creative ones have hyphens...) and i find myself genuinely concerned for the kids coming up now.

even the neo-soul movement has been phased out. i find myself retreating into jazz, into alternative (wtf does this actually mean, someone please explain), into hard rock, trance, electronica, anything but this godforsaken hip hop that has destroyed the popular perception of women as things to be toyed with and flung aside, or worse yet, to be used as receptacles for champagne. i want my old school motown back. i want men who begged and worked for women's attention.

charm a woman, dammit. romance me, don't disparage me. and women ought not to be encouraging it, sitting ass up licking lollipops or disparaging men as replaceable (this means you bey). yes, we can give as good as we get, but can we maybe go a few steps back to anita baker's sweet love or faith's eagerness to get home.

it seems that we no longer need to be talented. we just need to be marketable. sex has always sold. now it's coming in bucketloads and decent, truly talented artists are being passed over for the next best, dirtiest thing. i can't even listen to the radio anymore without feeling like i'd need to cover my ears or gasp at the things coming out of so-called artists' mouths. i am grateful for those artists who are able to surmount this awful thing called marketability. ladies like amel larrieux or chrisette michele. alicia keys used to be on that list, but...nah.

r and b used to be the only place of respite when rap got too crass and offensive or just plain stupid. catchy as it may be, i really wish that mainstream would take the youth into consideration and try to inject some sort of moral fortitude into their rhymes (ha!) or at least make it appropriate for folks of all ages. tits and ass seem to be the foundation upon which the industry is now built.

i have sought alternatives and people look at me strangely when they get into my car and i'm playing bon iver or listening to daft punk or blasting nina simone. i'm not a hipster. i just want more for myself, for my brain, and for my eardrums. unless i'm the only one bitching about this and everyone's listening to npr.

end of line.

check it out:

bodysuit: h&m (and a bitch to pee in...)
shorts: dkny. velvet in the summer? why, yes. i AM slow.
ruffled flats: audrey brooke

even more random:
found this quote and thought it too hilarious not to share:

"Marrying that hitler youth, demon spawn is a sure sign that Heidi Montag is not competant enough to dress herself in the morning let alone pick out her own jumbo sized new breasts."

via atila

can't beat the heat

2010-07-08T17:46:00.000-04:00

i feel like this photo makes me look 'thick', lol. been receiving a lot of comments on my derriere lately...growing up, i always wanted to have a butt like one of those video girls or this beauty. alas, neither of those things happened and then i realized that wafer-thin and anorexics were 'in', i.e. on the runway. given those two extremes, i think i just want to be toned and healthy. bought a 30 day membership for bikram yoga. wish me luck. haven't started yet because of the heat wave, but hoping next week, i'll be motivated by my dissatisfaction with how my clothes fit.

struggling to keep cool. currently blazin' saddles here in the city. sorry if i look really shiny. it's cuz i am. popped out of the shower and put my hair up and threw this on for the afternoon. this is perhaps one of my most 'provocative' dresses. it's tissue thin and the decolletage (how do you do accents on a laptop...?) is just...shocking by my standards. but i love it. it catches a wind like a vane and despite my hatred for embellishments of any sort, i really like the dangly, waterfall-y type neck thing. lol. articulate, yeah?

i've read all of your comments on my hydrophobia.
it's a damn shame that i'm from an island and can't swim. but i was traumatized i tell you (plus, despite all the immigrant jokes, i totally didn't swim here)!!! as part of your training, they chuck you in the deep end of the pool and make you grab hold of a pole and/or tread water. i can't tread water and i can't open my eyes underwater. i'm freaking terrified that when i open them there will be rows and rows and rows of teeth. so i failed that. and i never go in the deep end anymore unless i've got flippers on. yes, flippers. in the pool. and goggles. i totally sang 'i'm on a boat' for like 4 days before the trip and then for about 30 mins after it started. then i realized being on a boat ain't all it cracked up to be. i mean, you can't SEE your feet!!! perhaps in the caribbean with clearer waters and my goggles, i'll feel a bit more comfy. until then, no cruises.

currently getting screwed on ebay. bought a dress from the general economy blog and it didn't fit (i was told that side boobage was not attractive...hmph!) so put it on ebay for half the price and the buy it now as the full price. and one person has bid at the minimum price. *forehead slap, hangs self*. anyway, at least it'll be out of my house. freaking awful that this is my consolation, though.

i did like 8 loads of laundry yesterday but am in the midst of folding it all still. in the meantime, i'm obsessed with the tudors so as i fold my whites, i'll be soaking up the blatant fornication. helps one stay focused on the tedium, i find.

just bought 4 wine glasses, 3 knives and a $15 bottle of conditioner for $18 and change. freaking SWEET. i love discounts.

gonna go make dinner now with my new utensils! as my kitchen is most akin to HELL at the moment, wish me luck and fortitude. if i pass out, thanks for the support. i feel less self-conscious about drowning, lol.

oh, and the boy made this. i asked if i could share it and he said yes. he's explained it to me...it all seems very complicated to my non-technical mind, but to me it mostly looked pretty cool:

but then again, i'm into construction equipment and power tools.

ok, done rambling. will be back to visiting your blogs once i meet this deadline this evening.

oh yeah, i can't swim

2010-07-06T08:01:00.002-04:00

i remember when this was called 'nappy' and i'd bolt to get my hair done (fried). weird what 2 years can do for one's self image.

after my nap...

it was decided that the sail would be dropped. on my head.

gilded paths

told everyone i'd be wearing t-shirts and shorts to the beach until i got my shit together. people thought i was being super self conscious. clearly, i'm NOT kidding, lol.

shirt: margiela
shorts: hydraulic
sneakers: levi's (bestest sailing/boat shoes ever. swear.)

went sailing. passed out on a boat. i'm terrified of water, even the pool. jaws is ever-present in my memory. so is free willy. and the titanic and deep blue sea. while i love water and would love to have ready pool access or live over it i'm so incredibly frightened of it, i'd probably just sit at the side and stare suspiciously into the deep end (this has happened). i can't swim...at all. and i'm scared i'll fall in and never get out. plus, you can't SEE underwater. especially in the sound cuz the water is GREEN. see how FAR away all the land was? we were on the water for 8 hours. the day was spent discussing sharks, why they (and lost whales, barracuda, piranha, etc.) would not be in the sound, what would happen if the wind never came back, black people and sunburn and the lack of boobs on the boat. as the only girl, i was the sole source of entertainment, true story, lol.

the next day, (after i watched jaws 2 at my mom's) i found out that a friend of mine went sailing in the sound. his boat died and he and his friend tried to swim to shore. they got stranded in the water, too far from the boat and too far from the shore, with the current sweeping them steadily away from anything significant. people, thinking they were just being friendly, waved back at them as they flailed helplessly in their flimsy rubber boat with bending oars. the only reason they made it out is because someone saw 2 morons trying to take on the currents in a rubber effing boat.

so this is my weakness. secret's out and i don't feel better...and i'm sure you all desperately needed to have this information to move forth with your day...

yeah. so...i got back pats for not ~~visibly~~ freaking out all day. they let me ~~drive~~ ~~steer~~ be skipper of the boat forEVER, i think at least partially so i had something to occupy my rabid brain. i've decided i need a captain's hat. the gentle rocking allowed for a good nap, though. pretty sure i tanned on one side only. what did YOU guys do to celebrate independence day? anyone watch the fireworks?

the 4th, and then some

2010-07-06T02:00:00.000-04:00

me in silhouette:

borrowed my friend's big floppy hat. couldn't get it over all my hair so just popped it on top. the boy despises this. lol.

stumbled out of bed and into lunch.

while the grass and water looked very inviting, the idea of baking for any additional time was deeply unappealing. took this picture and took to the streets for more water.

dress: dkny (got RAVE REVIEWS!!! i was so flattered all day, lol)
shoes: mine de rien
bag: coach, from my daddy
watched the fourth kind this weekend. i was freaking the hell out. didn't want the sun to go down for fear that i'd be kidnapped by aliens of a most malevolent sort.

it's officially too hot to do a damn thing. blogging from my couch in front of a fan. please, oh heat wave gods, take mercy on us...

it's the weekend

2010-07-02T16:50:00.001-04:00

shirt: rvca
pants: religion
shoes: fratelli rosetti

outfit is lame but i love these pants.

on the hunt for:

waist belts; heavy, leather, bold waist belts
jumper/pants with suspenders
long dresses
button downs (sans bust darts); they go with everything
shirts in general. NOTHING to wear in this heat
a VERY chunky platform/wedge boot/sandal for everyday wear
statement earrings

met the most beautiful girl yesterday. she's sweet and smart and funny and i can't wait to hang out with her again! i'm such a freak sometimes.

blah-di-dah-di

2010-06-30T09:32:00.000-04:00

cuff: second hand
shirt: ???
pants: my little brother's
shoes: maison martin margiela ligne 6

down by the riverside

2010-06-27T12:37:00.000-04:00

a few snaps from my jaunt out to harlem. even got an adorable video of some little girls fleeing a toy car.

dress: h&m
shoes: mine de rien
bag: etro--i adore the paisley print. would really like to own more of their stuff. especially these boots. it was love at first sight when i held those darling boots in my arms. i put them back very gently when the SA informed me warmly of the price. still, i love the non-stuck-upness of the store staff. i was in there for over an hour touching everything and talking to the associate about the brand (they gave all their staff a free pair of limited edition shoes!!!) i like friendly stores, like margiela's. perhaps it was simply because i was in vegas and folk there are perpetually drunk so they act super nice to thusly handicapped persons. clearly thinking too much into it. enjoy the weekend guys.

like a girl

2010-06-25T09:09:00.000-04:00

my other shoes still have not arrived. officially murderous with regards to the post office. GIVE THEM TO ME!

i got compliments on my hair today! never happens. people usually just kind of stare. i think it's because it's smaller today than it usually is. lol. i also think i look like a little kid here. d'ah well.

i've re-fallen in love with this cuff. goes with everything.

shirt: free people
skirt: j crew (self-altered)
shoes: bill blass
bag: dkny

no shots of the back because my bra straps were showing. is that still tacky? or is it only tacky in shirts where it oughtn't to be showing, like this one? home today. going to watch some movies and do. absolutely. nothing.

i received a style council badge on chictopia. awesome? i'm not sure. i don't know what it really means just yet. i thought i'd be a style judge of some sort, but apparently not so...?

did anyone catch the second chance sale at gilt??? they had KELLY BAGS!!!!! KELLY!

thank you for your sweet comments on all my posts. keeps me motivated enough to not wear jeans and t-shirts. which is what i do when i don't take pics for this blog. :)

i really must show you all some of the details of my wardrobe more closely. finding pieces that make me happy just wearing them. do you own any items like that?

debating getting my nails done today. i don't like people touching my feet. totally skeeves me out. but these lovely NYC'ers with their perfect nail jobs are making me jealous. i SUCK at applying lacquer to my nails. i can never get a smooth line; probably because i hesitate. they look like tire tracks.

hoping to get some things accomplished this weekend. like selling more of my stuff. and getting a new A/C (i've been bitchy in the heat; the boy can't take it anymore). and looking for a new job.

anyone going anywhere cool for the weekend?

my days grow longer

2010-06-23T23:32:00.002-04:00

cooking 5 meals. right now. all at once. feeling very productive.

also ignoring the dozens of assignments i need to be tackling. probably the reason for all the 'productivity'.

it was too hot to wear real clothes.

vest: ???

shirt: ???

jeans: rich and skinny

shoes: repetto

bag: triple 5 soul

should i get this leather jumper? would be cool for fall...i think. or just odd.

help me decide!!!

"brain cells come and go...fat cells live forever..."

2010-06-22T18:33:00.000-04:00

funniest thing i've read in awhile.
especially since my brain cells seem to just be going and fat cells seem to just be coming.

this post was to be entitled "smiles for melody". learning to smile more in pictures. i FREAK in front of a camera.

no idea wtf i'm thinking here..."where do you go when you die?"

the boy says i'm cut like an athlete from the back. used to be one. now i just have their shoulders. lol. NO shirts fit. NONE.

my new margielas. love the color.

watching THE stupidest movie ever. oh meg ryan...what happened to you? i still love you! you just need the right role, i know it.

shirt: scala
pants: kenar. they look and feel like paper. but on, they feel like sweats. uber soft.
shoes: martin margiela
bag: dkny

dude, i have a bun!

day and night

2010-06-21T19:23:00.000-04:00

worn to brunch. they just kept on pouring those drinks....i then fell asleep in the movies right after this.

shirt: rvca
skirt: tahari
shoes: fratelli rosetti

some details omitted from the last post.

my go-to watch and newly resurrected cuff

weird birthmark that i've always had and rarely see...and my necklace.

shoes came. they're so good. will be doing a post soon. it's so hot outside, i can't think.

it's not what it looks like...but it is very bland

2010-06-18T18:55:00.000-04:00

lines....sorry guys...

talking with my hands...sooo not what it looks like.

i thought this outfit looked way better in real life...kinda lame in the photos.

sitting with my buttermilk concoction in my hair. i gave myself a trim the other day (it's SO bad, i know it) and couldn't stop fiddling with the newly shorn, smooth ends. i decided to take better care of it and just let it do its thing. so trying to keep it happy now. i'm officially a slave to my hair.

did you know that SATC2 was out on DVD already????? shocking...really.

watching young victoria...i freaking ADORE emily blunt.

someone told me i was down to earth today. she said that knowing my background, she's surprised that i'm not more of a prissy, stuck-up sort of girl. she then apologized if it came off as though she was insinuating i had no breeding, lol. i love compliments like that. totally real and uncontrived(?). correct my spelling, julia!

shirt: j crew
jeans: earnest sewn
shoes: bill blass
belt: gap
cuff: second hand store i stumbled across in CT
necklace: gift from a friend
watch: Michael Anthony; rec'd on my college graduation day from an obscure family friend. i wear it always.

have you all any fantastic, enviable weekend plans? i'll likely be home. piling bananas into my hair or watching more Netflix now that my internet connection is fixed. super fun yeah?!? no? alright

inside out/puppy hair

2010-06-17T09:44:00.001-04:00

excuse my bad lighting; i was in a rush.

ha. i flashed u.

post-flash, mid-giggle, not cute

2 dresses. it's like a slip over a (slutty) sundress instead of a slip under a (slutty) sheer dress. that word is filthy, by the way...sounds so dirty, no? i wanted to ask, by the way, if anyone thought the blog name strange. it occurred to me after the fact that people may just think i can't spell.....

slutty dress: h&m
other dress: ???
shoes: audrey brooke

equally random: i notice my hair has a tendency to flop on one side and to stand upright on the other. i have no idea why....

nice.

currently pissed. my package was delivered to some alternate address. my $150 shoes.

continuing the dog theme. you betta gimme my shoes...person who has them...or else.

lightness of being.....a boy

2010-06-16T09:55:00.001-04:00

jacket: yanuk
shirt: rvca
shorts: rogan
sneakers: repetto zizi (canvas)

smoking is naughty. don't do it. seriously.

been feeling really good lately. calm, even, eager to take on new challenges. it's nice, really, not being pressured or exhausted. but having grown accustomed to being under a perpetual burden of one sort or another, i have also found myself worrying about losing this sense of peace and lightness. double-edged sword? on the one hand i'm giddy to have moved forward in my life and on the other, i'm worried about the security of what i left behind, a security that is now gone. it's a strange duality. so i went shopping. all a part of my trying to live in the moment and take advantage of this newfound free feeling. but more on that haul later.

5 things of note:
this morning i crossed the street and saw the most beautiful young girl. cupid's bow lips, beautiful skin, the most incredible green/grey/blue eyes. she looked almost tragic. had to force myself not to stare!

this morning i walked by a man wearing these toe shoes(?). much like the tabis, these have an individual section for each, individual toe. i was teased to bits for my obsession with the tabi flats--going back to the ninja references--and here is this man, 6-feet plus, with massive headphones, and toe-shoes. i'm so getting the tabis now. ninjas are wicked cool.

i figured out how to use twitter properly (sort of).

i'm taking up ballet. apparently, i'm not allowed to wear the tutu though (@#$%!!!)

i'm starting ashtanga. i haven't started either of these things yet, but if i put them here, i know you guys will needle me about them. so it's sort of forcing myself to be accountable and not just say 'yeah, yeah, sure....................what? i never said that...'

do you guys find things to be more beautiful/special when you're happy?

ETA: DOOODS!!! i also got my first blog award evarrrrrr. super stoked. thanks very much to simply chic. totally forgot to mention it.
she's super cute

check out her blog.

so apparently i'm to pass this on to 10 bloggers. dayum. here goes:

thanks for reading and thanks again to simplychic!

dreadlocks

2010-06-14T10:21:00.002-04:00

haven't combed my hair out in a few days. pretty certain i have some authentic dreadlocks growing back there. it's gonna take me HOURS to get this thing under control.

had a glorious weekend. collected wristbands from clubs, hung out with good friends, cleaned my whole apartment. it feels so good now. the space is just better when it's tidy. when i was in college, i would have to clean my whole room before i could get anything done. because i'd look up and there would be clothes on the bed and floor and papers everywhere and it would freak me out. may go back to that obsessive behavior... bogged with reading and getting caught up with a bunch of paperwork so have not been as attentive to the blogs as i used to be. but bear with me.

anything cool happen this weekend?

super tight pants that are not leggings: zara
shirt: le tigre
shoes: maison martin margiela
jacket: maison martin margiela
belt: gap

out with the old

2010-06-12T16:43:00.000-04:00

why do legs look so weird upside down?

folded the waist of my dries skirt. minor detail but i thought it looked cool.

got mud on these months ago. oops.

got invited to a club opening last week. couldn't make it but turns out this week was the owner's birthday so it was a better deal anyway.
good bellydancers + good hookah + good friends = a very happy me.

shirt: adrienne vittadini
skirt: dries van noten
boots: repetto

will be adding things on ebay if anyone is interested.

yep, in my white tee

2010-06-11T00:00:00.001-04:00

dusting my shoulders off. ha.

keeping it simple for the day. seems to be a trend. whatevs. it's summer. it's hot. "stress-free" is the focus.

love these boots. still breaking them in so had to pre-bandage my feet. will be looking into grey's suggestions as well however.

shirt: adrienne vittadini
pants: j. lindeberg
shoes: george cox
sweater: complex geometries
bag: bottega veneta
not pictured: band aids strapped to my feet to aid in the breaking in process. :) will be doing the bobby sock trick when i get home.

enter the dragon

2010-06-09T10:14:00.001-04:00

last time i wore this shirt--with harem pants--i was told that i looked like bruce leroy. tried to make it a little more street-ready this go round. very comfy. but still feeling a little kung-fu-ey (totes a word).

they're also remaking the last dragon, so perhaps i'll be more aptly dressed for THAT particular occasion.

jacket: zara
shirt: french connection
pants: rick owens

i'm obsessed with ~~many~~ few things and margiela's ranking on that list is quite high. check this out londoners: In Conversation

in velvet shorts

2010-06-08T20:45:00.001-04:00

so.tired.blah.

thanks for all the suggestions! wound up whipping the bra off after publishing that last post (and was momentarily confused when i found it in my handbag this morning). couldn't take it anymore. felt much better, but had to walk about with my scarf on for fear of blinding someone with my dreaded headlights...TMI? sucks.

jacket: iisli
shirt: free people
shorts: dkny
shoes: repetto

trying to plan the next phase of my life. unemployment and the resultant transitional period are rather daunting when you're like me and NEED a list of items, bullet points, goals, destinations in mind. trying to adopt an 'enjoy the ride' mentality but...i gotta eat. and eating means PLANNING. or dumpster diving. will let you know which.

planning on selling some stuff on ebay. any size 9s interested?